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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

Do you like my new voice?

It's very voice over.

An in-depth look at the archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain and James Everett.

Cash in number one, please.

This aisle is closed.

Before we make a start on your emails, let's have a re-gap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

This week was brought to you by the word family.

We began the week with Emma and Will wringing their hands after their trip to the nick.

They had begun apparently by being circumspect and ended up stitching Georgie up like a kipper.

They then followed a bewildering exchange about whose relatives needed to be told and

auntie this and uncle that and even I had to press pause to figure out what the hell they

were on about.

So God knows how more recent listeners managed.

Ed ended the conversation with that most brilliant of phrases,

It is what it is, which immediately made

me wish there was something we could bang him up for too. Even that was better than listening

to Kenton and Jolene waving a piece of chicken at a sound effect in the pub. Only the archers could

...