What makes a woman attractive? I like a woman with a good sense of humor. I also like a woman who has stilts surgically attached to her leg so she can try playing in the NBA. Huge stilts. I mean, she's like 12 feet off the ground. She has a contract with the NBA team, like a 10-day contract. They're looking for an effort player. She's going like four, seven, and two, but she's getting boards.

They need the boards.

I took out a fourth credit card to pay for an experimental surgery where they take skin from my lower back, grafted onto my legs to attach stilts, and now I'm being paid the veterans minimum to provide leadership to a young team with a lot of draft picks. I wouldn't mind if she had stilts attached and was like trying to overtake Wembenyama as the number one pick.

A girl who thought it would be a good idea to get stilts sewn onto her legs, so she's in the G-League now waiting to get called up by the Indiana Pacers. The surgery went horribly wrong because no doctor has ever done that before, so she had to get it done by a vet and it got infected and she might never walk again but but that's how we met. I'm the vet.

Good morning, sweet world, and welcome to the No Ducks podcast on the Athletic Network. It's Friday. February 24th, 2003, this is The Drop. I'm Jay E. Skeets here in the Classic Factory,

and alongside me, as always, that's Tasmelis. Congratulations to USA Basketball. It's going to be a Fiba World Classic. Next to Tass, it's the Beardwoman, a top shot hot boy, Trey Kirby. Hey, yo! Hey, yo! And last but not least, over yonder, making the magic happen, two super producers. It's JD and JK.

How are y'all doing? Hello. What's up? What's up, guys? Don't be afraid to say hello when I come over to you, okay? I think they went over that today, because yesterday they were both ready to go in with the how y'all doing and a hello. Today, letting it breathe. Yeah, that's fun. Nice stuff. Suspensful. Shout out to the stream team.

Joining us live on YouTube.

We love to see it.

Like the vid.

Subscribe to No Dunks on YouTube. Get your comments in. Fire away there. Get any and all of your No Dunks merch over at NoDunks.com. On today's podcast, our 900th episode with The Athletic, we got a lot. We're going to debate the worst of the week.

You got a few nominees.

We'll hand that out.

We're going to hit the beach to answer a few of your questions, including whether trade requests

are actually good for the NBA.

We got tweeted the night.

We got Rapid Fire fun.

But first, we had a wedgy, and lucky for us, we had the Mavericks broadcast on the call.

Got caught up in the screen, and we have a Kada Bates-Diop Wedgie.

That's one of the rarest kinds.

The first that I'm ever aware of, as a matter of fact.

Do they keep that on basketball reference?

...