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Hey everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Shut Up a Second.

My name's Hayden.

I'm here with Cass Page.

He's not wrong.

And also Tom Walker's here. Hello, Tom Walker. It's Tom Walker, everybody. Oh. I love that. Was that a sound effect from your little board that you have? What, this board? What, this board? What this board? No, to answer your question, no, it was not. What was this board? No. That one was.

And today's topic is the drains.

Oh.

You ever spend much time in a drain, Tom Walker?

No, but whenever I think are going down there, I'm intrigued.

I feel like there's treasures down there.

There's exciting stuff happening in the drains, I reckon.

I imagine it would be lovely and stinky.

Have you ever been in the drains, Cass?

No, and I wish I were in the drains. Oh, you're going to get to the drains. I keep missing out. They keep being gigs in Melbourne that are held in drains in secret. They're good. And I don't know about them because they're secret. Then I find out that I didn't go to them, crushing. There's not Instagram. It's not that secret. Which accounts? I don't know. They don't let me follow them.

They're around.

It's fine. Okay, so this is clearly the words of a man who's been in drains. I love the drains, yeah. I've never been to an illegal gig, though, Cass. I'm with you here. I think rules are made to be followed. That's why they're there. Yeah. No, yeah, we're doing the gig in the drain.

I was thinking because Joel, uh, Dusha, you know him, uh, he's trying to get us to do a live shut up a second and I don't really want to do one, but maybe we'll do it in the drains. Oh yeah, live shot up, live podcast in the drains. Live podcast in the drain. Because usually they're like hardcore shows or punk shows. Yeah. People are like, you know, lighting off fireworks in there and smoking Siggies in the Drain's. But I think it'd be funny to have Sandspans fans in the Drain's. I think it would be great. And also, it would be really effective at dissuading all the punk bands from doing it because now that is not cool anymore. Because it is an uncool thing to do now. Yeah. The drains are owned by nerds. Ruin the dreams for everyone. Oh, man. This is the first time we've had this many t-shirts in the drains. No. We got to find a new place to have fun. It was the first time a D20 entered the drain. Yeah. Oh, Lord. What do you think? Just in someone's pockets, too. Oh, God. Yeah, just rolling around loose. Someone who's always ready, carrying around the D20, like I carried around a condom in my wallet and high school. You never know when you might need it. Yeah, maybe someone here will want to fuck this 15-year-old boy on the bus. Oh, God, I used to do exactly the same thing. It was so, looking back, it's so humiliating the optimism. You were so safe. You were so safe. Well, what if someone was that set to me at lunch? Also, I didn't know how to put it on, Cass.

It would have been a dry, it would have been a first time dry run. You would have had the first draft of me putting on a condom, which I think would have just been me slapping it against the side and being like, I don't know. I don't know. I think it's good. You didn't buy a pack of condoms and then just put one on the bathroom just to see what was up?

Not until I was like 18.

I reckon I did that when I was at 15. It took me a while. I didn't have that curious mind. I had Halo 2. You know, that was keeping me occupied. There's no, well, there is equivalent for women, but you can't buy them anywhere. So me and my friends just... What do you can't buy them anyway?

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