The Don of Fries | SCP-5642

The SCP Experience

Dr. NoSleep Studios

Fiction, Science Fiction

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 9 February 2026

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A Foundation operative infiltrates a late-night diner to collect samples—only to discover the French fries are alive, organized, and running a full-blown mob operation. When respect breaks down, the fries remind him that even gods can be taken out by something small, sharp, and very angry. Listen ad-free + bonus stories with a 7-day FREE trial of ⁠SCP Premium⁠. Cancel anytime. No commitment. This story is derived from ⁠The SCP Foundation Database⁠ and is released under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/⁠⁠⁠ Author: Jake Bible * * * CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This episode contains explicit content not limited to intense themes, strong language, and depictions of violence intended for adults. Parental guidance is strongly advised for children under the age of 18. Listener discretion is advised. #thescpexperience #scp #scpfoundation #scpencounters #securecontainprotect #scpstories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	The Premier League is exciting.
0:04.0	It's exhilarating.
0:07.0	And sometimes it's...
0:11.0	So when you need something to help you ride the highest and loads of all that action,
0:17.0	grab a Coke to keep you in the game.
0:20.0	Time to refresh.
0:21.6	Time for a Coke.
0:23.6	Coca-Cola, official partner of the Premier League.
0:26.6	The French Frye refuses to hold still so that I can draw fluids from it with a syringe.
0:42.4	Not only does it refuse to hold still, but it keeps screaming at me.
0:46.9	You'll get that needle anywhere near me, and I swear to all that is holy, I will mess you up.
0:53.4	I will drop you like a 10-toned meatball.
0:56.6	I'll grind your bones to make my freaking bread. And I make the best bread.
1:02.7	Italian loaf, all fluffy inside with that crunchy crust.
1:09.1	The four-inch tall piece of talking fast food keeps me back by swinging a rather sharp toothpick in my direction every time I come in with a syringe.
1:18.3	Listen, all I need to do is I do not care what it is you think you do or do not need to do.
1:25.0	Oh, and one other thing, you call me French again, and I swear to all that is holy,
1:31.6	I will mess you up. I will drop you like a 10-ton truck full of canolies. I slice off your skin and
1:39.2	make christinis. Maybe I had some nice extra virgin olive oil and fresh moths.
1:49.3	The fry stops yapping and looks down at the needle sticking out of the spot on its potato body that I have to guess is where its belly is.
1:52.5	Would you look at that? Ain't that something?
1:56.1	Sorry. I just have a job to do.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. NoSleep Studios, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. NoSleep Studios and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.