meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Everything Is Stories

The Disorientation of Survival - Part 3

Everything Is Stories

Everything Is Stories

History, Personal Journals, Society & Culture

4.8 • 606 Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2024

⏱️ 76 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

*This episode contains strong descriptions of sexual situations and abuse, listener discretion is advised. As a closeted gay teenager, lying was familiar to Mark Olmsted. Concealing parts of his identity was just part of the deal–and he was good at it. But when the AIDS crisis threatened his life and left him with little to lose, the lying would turn so grandiose that no one who knew him could quite believe it.  In our previous two episodes Mark Olmsted spoke on his upbringing and the complicated history with his brother–and how an unexpected transformation in their relationship would eventually lead to a life of debauchery, all culminating in a dramatic encounter with law enforcement. For our third and final part of the story, Mark describes the chaotic months he would spend being shuffled throughout the California detention system. As a gay inmate concerned for his safety, lying would initially become a means for survival as he struggled to gain footing in a tense environment. Eventually finding common ground as an outsider with a small group of inmates, Mark would slowly begin to re-examine his life–ironically reclaiming his sanity in a place most would consider insane. With the burden of lying lifted after his release and a certain memory about his mother re-surfacing, would the need to live a life of deception remain? Or will reckoning with a shocking childhood secret and his closeted childhood open the door for contemplation and a new way of life? --- Produced by Mike Martinez, Tyler Wray, and Grace Heerman. Music by Mike Etten. Sound design by George Drake, Jr. Photos by Clarke Tolton. For more about Mark, you can purchase his book Ink From The Pen: A Prison Memoir. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The comfortable way to deal with these stories is to say they are about them.

0:10.0

The way to understand these stories is to say they are about us.

0:14.0

No, no.

0:16.0

No.

0:18.0

The comfortable way to deal with these stories is to say they are about them. The way to understand these stories is to know they are about us. I'm This episode contains descriptions of sexual situations.

0:48.3

Listener discretion is advised.

1:00.0

Previously, in parts one and two of the disorientation of survival. When I got older, my mom told me thoughts that had haunted her for years,

1:08.0

that she had breathed the same air of the people who died in concentration camps,

1:14.5

that she was eating and working and sleeping while they were suffering. It took me longer to

1:21.8

start to realize that I had inherited a lot of that baked-in anxiety.

1:30.9

I have no moral judgments about promiscuity whatsoever.

1:35.5

But it feels like, in retrospect,

1:38.2

you could only have so much hedonism before it became destructive.

1:49.0

I just wish the universe had come up with a different way to slow us down than AIDS.

2:03.6

We were gay brothers, both HIV positive. We lived together. He dies. I am responsible for settling his affairs. I use the card and I do that initial fraud and then I'm going to just close everything out.

2:10.6

So I went to the DMV and handed in his old license.

2:15.6

And she looked at it, tossed it aside, and said,

2:18.7

okay, go get your picture taken.

2:21.3

So I had a license as my brother with my fingerprint and my picture on it.

2:27.9

And that started 10 years of a double life.

2:35.0

That's when I finally got the idea of taking Luke's death certificate

2:41.0

and forging it into mine.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Everything Is Stories, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Everything Is Stories and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.