The difference between healthy and unhealthy love | Katie Hood

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2020

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In a talk about understanding and practicing the art of healthy relationships, Katie Hood reveals the five signs you might be in an unhealthy relationship -- with a romantic partner, a friend, a family member -- and shares the things you can do every day to love with respect, kindness and joy. "While love is an instinct and an emotion, the ability to love better is a skill we can all build and improve on over time," she says.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to TED Talks Daily. I'm Elise Hume. Today's talk is something we can all use,
0:08.9	whether it's in our friendships, work relationships, or romance. Relationship revolutionary, Katie
0:14.6	Hood will help you audit your relationships to look for signs of unhealthy behaviors or patterns.
0:23.8	Because, as she says in her TED 2019 archive talk,
0:29.1	understanding what we don't want from love is key to doing relationships better.
0:36.0	So when you think about a child, a close friend, or a romantic partner,
0:38.9	the word love probably comes to mind,
0:48.3	and instantly other emotions rush in. Joy and hope, excitement, trust, and security, and yes, sometimes sadness and disappointment. There might not be a word in the dictionary that
0:53.0	more of us are connected to than love.
0:56.4	Yet given its central importance in our lives,
0:59.2	isn't it interesting that we're never explicitly taught how to love?
1:03.4	We build friendships,
1:05.6	navigate early romantic relationships,
1:08.0	get married and bring babies home from the hospital
1:10.2	with the expectation that
1:11.3	we'll figure it out. But the truth is, we often harm and disrespect the ones we love. It can be subtle
1:18.5	things like gilting a friend into spending time with you, or sneaking a peek at your partner's texts,
1:25.3	or shaming a child for their lack of effort at school.
1:29.3	100% of us will be on the receiving end of unhealthy relationship behaviors,
1:33.7	and 100% of us will do unhealthy things.
1:37.2	It's part of being human.
1:39.8	In its worst form, the harm we inflict on loved ones shows up as abuse and violence,
	...

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