Hello, I hope you enjoy this recording and consider that in accordance with the Buddhist

tradition my talks are offered entirely without charge and supported by donations only.

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to check out a chapter from my book, Unsubscribed, which arrives November 2017, and thank you.

I'm by no means anything remotely close to a morning person.

So bear with me.

What I'm going to try to do is take some of the ideas that I expressed last night which are just

I'm not teaching that darma I'm not teaching the darma, I'm just teaching a darma. So continuing on from that I said that

we from my perspective we are all attachment seeking missiles.

We are all our species depends for its survival on connection and that the way we

connect fundamentally in the first few years of life is through our emotions, not verbally but through our

emotional expressions and that the degree to which our emotions are seen, mirrored, creates a sense of security and to the degree that our emotions are not informative experiences, not just in a family system, but also education systems with peer groups to the degree that we

emotionally feel rejected, abandoned or unseen we will develop what Winnicott called a false self, a set of behaviors that will get a scene at all costs and that these behaviors sometimes they're overly

compliant. We turn into caretakers perennially or people pleasers and sometimes our coping strategies on the other hand can be combative.

We might be antisocial, we might be histrionic and just constantly aggrandizing

our emotional states to be seen and that creates a whole host of problems and then I moved on to say that with

the arrival of thought we very often use inner chatter as a way to repress our core emotional needs which are largely expressed through

feelings, not verbally.

And that to the degree that we become over-reliant on the super-egoic

inner chatter or the sort of inner critic is the degree that we will become overly self-reliant,

that we will start social withdrawal, that we will not become in an ongoing way.

We will not feel confident in expressing our core natural spontaneous feelings and that this is we see this on a cultural level with our over reliance on

...