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Thanks for listening to my Call of the day podcast. You can hear my live

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Sirius XM Triumph 111. Katie, welcome to the program. Triumph 111. K.

Hi, Dr. Laura, thank you for having me.

You're welcome.

What's happening?

I'm trying to understand how to move forward with my life.

I went to see a therapist about a year ago.

I was trying to save my eight-year relationship with my now ex-fiancé and she said that I'm

invisible to everyone in my life and so I spent a year kind of trying to fix that actually mean. Can you tell me what that means? I don't know yet what that means. I think that it means that in terms of my family dynamics and in terms of my ex relationship that my needs get forgotten my my like I would say, hey, I really have this soundry, can you believe listen to it, and people just kind of ignore those things.

No, people are not supposed to listen to your boundary. You got one of those therapists, they piss me off. Boundaries, first of all I don't like the psycho babble and I think it's mostly for cattle to keep it on one side of a fence.

It's more of an ultimatum. People should not be using the word boundary.

If you don't wish somebody to do, say, be whatever it is something, that doesn't stop them.

The operant part of that is that you already have in your mind.

If they breach that, what you're going to provide as a consequence. That's what, quote, a boundary, end quote,

needs to be. It's not an order or command for somebody else.

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