New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last, subject to availability. The assassinated their entire audience at the stroke of midnight.

That was the only survivor. Sex and drugs saved my life. If you're into death metal music,

then you probably a big fan of murder. They come from Scandinavia. And their following

is ridiculous. How Ricky the manager of dive bar, that's actually the bar's name, managed

to book them is beyond me. But he did. He's dead because of it. My city is still in full

lockdown. I've been out of work for almost a year. Same as my boss Ricky. So when I got

the call from him a week before Christmas, came as a surprise. Branded in my man. What

you been up to? You didn't wait for an answer. Good. Good. Now listen, I didn't want to

text you this and have you screw it up. So I called instead. I hope that's all right.

Say I'm old Ricky. I need your band to play a secret staff Christmas party at the dive

bar. You'll be performing in the basement. That way no one will hear or see anything.

Good. This time he waited for reply. Yeah, I'll have to check with the band, but yeah,

I checked. The band was happy to play. My band's called SSI K. And this was our first gig

in nine months. Needless to say, we had a blast. After the show, Ricky pulled me into a

smokey little office and asked if SSI K was interested in playing a private party for

New Year's Eve opening for murder murder. Hell yeah. What could possibly go wrong?

Murder brought a guillotine. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen in my life. It was silver

and sharp and dare I say sexy in the medieval torture kind of way. They also brought a 13

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