Oh, welcome to Improper Youmage with Matt Besser. That's me. Just McKinna, John Gaberus.

Yeah. I see some double-dippers in the crowd. Round of applause. If this is your second

Improper Humans tonight. Double-dippers, as they're known. Some expendable income

having motherfuckers out here. Guys, we're humans, not just guys. Humans of all ages,

shapes and sizes, uh... Race, creeds, colors. Yeah, why not? I don't know what a

creed is, but I always like it. What is a creed, Apollo? Yeah, Apollo creed, um... With

arms wide open? Creed from the office. And I'm tapped. And we're creeds. And we're out.

Humans, what we do here is we'll have... Well, usually we'll get a word, we'll have that

word-inspired story, then we'll do some improv based on that. Sometimes it's a question,

but to get things going, I saw this guy in the first show, John. You did two, right?

Well, both of these guys, the one who's trying to eat a cherry with chopsticks over here.

He's using it as a choice. He's using it as a choice to eat a cherry with chopsticks

out of his, when I was assuming was either an old-fashioned or a Shirley Temple. Old-fashioned

good. We cut to the floor. Sir, excuse me? Yes? Can you keep it down? There's a show

on stage, and have you been trying to get your cherry out of your table? I look. I love

Shirley Temples. I'm a DD, so I'm not about to have any alcohol. And I got to get this

cherry out of here. And all I have are these two metal straws. Charlie, I'm begging you,

use my fork. I don't want to use your fork. I studied abroad in Japan when I was 19, so

I want to show off my... Look, I took my shoes off, and now I'm trying... That's what that

smell is. Yes, okay. I had to walk here in sparey tops with no socks and no gold bond.

How about if we just bring you a little bowl of cherries and that way you don't have

to get that cherry? No, I like them soaked in the grenadine and

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