The danger of falling for "Pathetic Men"
It's Been a Minute
NPR
4.7 • 9.2K Ratings
🗓️ 10 March 2026
⏱️ 32 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
These are the men who lean into the hardships of modern manhood...and expect women to sooth their pain. They're popping up in our TV shows, social media feeds, and real lives. So much so that Tiktoker Josh Lora (aka tellthebeees) has declared 2026 the year of pathetic men.
Host Brittany Luse and Josh raise a toast to the men who lean into the ways patriarchy and masculinity have failed them…maybe too much.
(0:00) What is a "pathetic man?" And how does he manipulate people?
(4:18) How to spot a "pathetic man" in pop culture and real life
(8:52) How men ask others to support him...rather than supporting himself
(15:18) Why society is primed to excuse men's behavior
(18:46) Pathetic men are the logical evolution of soft boys and baby girls
(24:06) Women are in crisis too...so why do struggling men get all the attention?
Interested in other episodes about modern dating? Check these out:
"The End of Men" by Hanna Rosin
The Embarrassing Truth of Dating Men
Is he a good guy? Or is he manipulating you?
Support Public Media. Join NPR Plus.
Follow Brittany on Instagram: @bmluse
For handpicked podcast recommendations every week, subscribe to NPR’s Pod Club newsletter at npr.org/podclub.
See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.
NPR Privacy Policy
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | When you date men, you know exactly the type of guy that I'm talking about where it's like, |
| 0:03.6 | he's not good at anything and you got to, he just needs a hug. |
| 0:06.3 | He's just a baby. |
| 0:07.2 | And you're like, that's a 37 year old man. |
| 0:09.6 | That's not a baby. |
| 0:10.4 | Like, that's not my baby. |
| 0:13.4 | Quick question. |
| 0:14.9 | Is 2026 the year of pathetic men? |
| 0:18.5 | Well, according to writer and content creator Josh Laura, aka Tell the Bees on |
| 0:23.6 | TikTok, it definitely is. He wrote a substack article about it, and he's here with us today to break |
| 0:30.1 | it all down. Josh Laura, welcome to It's Been a Minute. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so |
| 0:34.3 | excited to be here. Hello, hello. I'm Brittany Luce, and you're listening to It's Been a Minute from NPR, a show about what's going on in culture and why it doesn't happen by accident. |
| 0:52.3 | You have called 2026 the year of the pathetic man. |
| 0:59.2 | How do you define a pathetic man? |
| 1:01.3 | And why do you think that this year, of all years, is their year? |
| 1:06.0 | To define pathetic, I think obviously it's a very loaded word. |
| 1:09.1 | But I do think that there is something about the specific interplay of |
| 1:13.4 | emotionality and manipulation, right? |
| 1:16.7 | I think that there is this element of like this person is a little bit of a loser |
| 1:21.5 | and they're trying to make it lovable. |
| 1:25.1 | And in the piece, I was like, I feel like this, the wool is being |
| 1:29.6 | pulled over my eyes. I feel like you are being a loser. You're being ineffectual. You're being |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from NPR, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of NPR and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.