So I'd like to begin tonight's talk a bit in the way that I began a talk right before

Thanksgiving.

This time I'd like to let you know that I got a card that was actually a napkin last

year and it says, I'll be home for Christmas and in therapy by New Year's.

And it always resonates because as much as we love and adore those closest to us often,

it's when we spend time with those we have the most history with that that brings up

our historical patterns.

And so it's a real common theme for many people that as we enter this season, the stress

of the season and the sense of going to be with those that were closest with or extended

family can really trigger off patterns that we wish wouldn't happen.

And so I'd like to address that a little tonight and just by saying that we get caught

in a looping.

And the looping goes something like some emotions triggered off, fear or hurt or anger.

And then we go into a behavior we've been doing for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 and on years.

And then that behavior creates a reaction from people that then creates the emotion and

then we loop and loop and loop.

And this looping is a trance.

When we're in our looping of emotions and behaviors, we're in a trance in the sense that our

perceptions are narrowed, we're very identified with a sense of a separate self who's in some

way either failing or completely right, but it's a small kind of self.

And there's unpleasantness that goes with it.

And when we're in that trance, we can't see who the others were involved with really are.

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