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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

The Daily Showography of Lindsey Graham

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Comedy Central

Comedy, Daily News, News

4.413.5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 August 2021

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Daily Show chronicles the life of Senator Lindsey Graham, a lifelong bachelor whose insatiable lust for power fueled a hot and heavy political career.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to Comedy Central.

0:03.0

Ow!

0:06.0

Some people marry for love.

0:08.0

Some people marry for stability.

0:10.0

And some people never marry at all.

0:13.0

Well, I'm the first bachelor to run for president and like forever.

0:16.0

You know, I'm not married.

0:17.0

The last time I checked there was nothing in the constitution

0:20.0

or at the White House said single people need not apply.

0:23.0

Yes, how could a person marry when he's hopelessly devoted

0:27.0

to the greatest love of his life?

0:29.0

Political power.

0:32.0

This is the daily showography of Lindsey Graham, married to the king.

0:40.0

Lindsey, Olen Graham grew up in the tiny town of Central South Carolina.

0:44.0

His parents owned a restaurant that was also a pool hall,

0:47.0

that was also a bar and a liquor store,

0:50.0

that was also the home they lived in.

0:52.0

It could basically be whatever people wanted it to be,

0:55.0

the perfect environment for raising a politician.

0:58.0

At the age of nine, Lindsey started working at the family bar.

1:02.0

One of his jobs, taking phone calls from concerned wives,

1:05.0

looking for their drunk husbands.

...

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