The Cruise to Cartel City
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 23 February 2026
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome to another completely stable and professionally executed daily comedy show… where one host is preparing for a cruise that may or may not include hostage negotiations, another is heading to Vegas to sit on a radio panel titled “Reports of Our Death Are Greatly Exaggerated” (which feels aggressive), and the rest of us are arguing about hockey and stuffed monkeys.
Rafe is setting sail toward Mexico during what the news is lovingly describing as “a tense time,” and naturally we handle it with firearms training jokes, cartel commentary, and Norwegian Cruise Line optimism. Meanwhile, Rizz is headed to Vegas for a radio conference panel alongside a guy flying his own private plane. Rizz? Row 20 on Southwest. Celebrity row, obviously. Fremont-adjacent accommodations. Lifts packed. Confidence medium.
We also spiral into Vegas buffet strategy like it’s a military operation. Crab legs first. No bread. Absolutely no French toast. If you leave feeling fine, you did it wrong. That’s the rule.
Back in STL, Moon lived his best cultured life at Phantom of the Opera at The Fabulous Fox Theatre (tears were shed, nuts were purchased), then followed it up with a suite-level experience at a St. Louis City SC match where apparently the buffet alone deserves its own documentary. Meanwhile, Rizz is still emotionally recovering from Canada being “butthurt” about losing Olympic hockey in overtime. Scoreboard is the judge. That’s how sports work.
We also check in on Punch the abandoned baby monkey who went viral hugging his IKEA orangutan, debate whether AI is the future or the apocalypse, invent a game show called House of Steve, and confirm that yes, Vegas is expensive now and no, the $4.99 steak days are gone forever.
This daily comedy show somehow covers cruise chaos, Olympic gold, Broadway tears, casino buffets, monkey redemption arcs, and trivia-night costume strategy in one episode. It’s chaotic. It’s unnecessary. It’s exactly what you signed up for.
If you like funny stories, pop culture commentary, sports meltdowns, entertainment gossip, and sarcastic humor from a funny morning show in St. Louis, congratulations — you’ve found your new favorite daily comedy show.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Rizzuto |
| 0:02.0 | Roodo |
| 0:03.0 | Hey |
| 0:04.0 | Good morning everybody |
| 0:07.0 | Oh my God |
| 0:09.0 | It is so nice to see each and everyone |
| 0:12.0 | Yeah, baby |
| 0:13.0 | And y'all look beautiful |
| 0:15.0 | Beautiful |
| 0:16.0 | Wow |
| 0:17.0 | And you look good in that color, man |
| 0:18.0 | It's gray and thank you |
| 0:20.0 | Yeah Appreciate it It fits your personality, I like It's gray, and thank you. Yeah. |
| 0:38.2 | Appreciate it. It fits your personality. I like it. Oh, man, I try to say something nice. Hey, man, what do you mean? It's gray camo. Pay attention. There's some variety. You have gray in your beard. My personality is gray. How do you take that? You have always. You have always taken that well. That's a compliment. |
| 0:38.9 | No, it's not. You're not in either have always, you have always taken that well. That's a compliment. |
| 0:38.5 | No, it's not. You're not in either, nothing is black and white with you. It's gray. I'm not going to |
| 0:43.1 | let any of you ruin this week for me. What happened to you? You woke up sensitive. Are you out of your |
| 0:48.1 | mind? Me? Woke up sensitive. I woke up. You're the one changing. Very well rested. |
| 0:55.0 | The choice of lawyers is an important decision and should not be based solely on |
| 0:58.7 | advertisements. At Brown and Croupin, we get that after an accident, money's tight. That's |
| 1:06.0 | why we offer so much for free. First call, free. First consultation, free. Stuck at Homer in the hospital, |
| 1:14.7 | we'll come to you for free. So call Brown and Croupin, where we don't get paid unless you do, |
... |
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