The Core Inner Conflict

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2025

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jayson breaks down the problems with one common strategy—people-pleasing and how it relates to the core inner conflict. What are the childhood roots of people-pleasing? Why do people-pleasers become resentful? Why do integrated individuals make better coaches and therapists? Tune in to this insightful episode to learn how to stop betraying yourself in the context of your relationship.

Timestamps:

1:37 - Client example
5:43 - The childhood roots of people-pleasing
12:04 - Betraying yourself to fit in
14:46 - Why people-pleasers become resentful
18:23 - Why integrated people make better coaches and therapists

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, hi.
0:05.1	Welcome back.
0:06.2	Today we're going to talk about the inner conflict in our clients and in yourself as a coach or practitioner, right?
0:15.8	This is critical for relationship coaching and for working with people relationally as we're doing here.
0:26.2	In chapter 7 of my book, it's called the price tag of avoiding conflict, chapter 8's,
0:31.6	how to resolve the inner conflict. Okay, so if you want sort of the play-by-play, read chapter 7 and 8 of my book,
0:40.4	getting to zero.
0:42.0	So I'm going to unpack kind of what this looks like.
0:44.4	I'm going to actually play you a clip from a coaching session I did years ago
0:49.3	with a guy who has been married multiple times.
0:59.9	And you'll hear the language of an inner conflict and he's familiar enough with my work that he's you know somewhat hip to it so you'll i think
1:09.2	it'll give you a good sense of what people deal with.
1:15.8	There's so many examples I could cite.
1:18.8	So why don't we start with just this short clip of this client and this is me working with him.
1:28.0	And it'll be, you know, just a couple of minutes here.
1:31.2	I just want to give you kind of a peek.
1:33.0	And then we'll talk about this using this example here.
1:38.6	What can I be working on?
1:41.2	Yeah.
1:42.0	Well, what's your answer to that?
1:47.8	My answer is just being aware of of it seeing those patterns and myself disconnect from being authentic to myself,
2:12.2	me and my true self has been,
	...

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