This Christmas, everyone is excited for Santa to arrive.

Everyone, but Matt Pat, that is.

I'm cranky and overworked.

He's a theorist with a bone to pick.

Are we sure these Christmas cookies were locally sourced?

But the man on top of his naughty list is Santa himself. When was the last time these elves got a lunch break?

Do these stairs not have railings?

Why is no one in this factory wearing PPE?

I'm calling OSHA!

Will one grumpy theorist be able to stop Christmas from coming?

Or will he learn that Santa is the biggest victim of all?

Help me.

It's a holiday story for the ages, a very film theory Christmas, rated PG starting now. Hello internet! Welcome to Film Theory, the show that guarantees you'll be placed on the nice list if you hit the subscribe button.

Tracing back to the 4th century, the myth of Santa Claus has changed a lot with the times.

Over the century, Santa has undergone the most dramatic glow-up ever.

Starting off as a kindly 4th century bishop named Nicholas, who lived in what's now modern-day Turkey,

and transforming into a jolly bearded man who wears a red suit, lives in the North Pole, and stuffs himself down chimneys,

so he can deliver toys and eat all your cookies. It is quite the pokey evolution.

Anyway, from those beginnings, his modern mythos has been solidified by holiday classics like Miracle on 34th Street,

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, Silent Night, Deadly Night, and of course, Santa Claus conquers the Martians.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

...