The Bush Telegraph: What a faff

Standard Issue Podcast

Standard Issue

Society & Culture

4.7 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 30 October 2025

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As the concept of ID cards rears its ugly head once again, Hannah and Jen are asking if Keir Starmer’s revolutionary way of eliminating faff will be as effective as Brexit in terms of reducing bureaucracy. Elsewhere, it seems the Home Office could do with some help in getting its day job done. Meanwhile, Henry VIII is repping Sexism of the Week via Hemel Hempstead, there are big international fixtures in Jenny off the Blocks, and thank God, as ever, for the French. If you want to know more about what Hannah thinks about ID cards, and indeed, what we all think about all sorts of things, check out our Substack here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:30.3	Bush Telegraph. Hello and welcome to the Bush Telegraph. I'm Hannah Donlevy.
0:36.1	And I'm Jen Offord. Now Jen, Jen, I know working here is pretty much the dream job. But yesterday, I had my gums cut open with lasers and I had to pay £600 for it. So, Periodontic is a big job recommendation for me if anyone out there is thinking of retraining.
0:55.8	Lasers are the sort of money. I'd imagine rich people pay divorce lawyers.
1:01.1	I mean, I thought you were about to say, yesterday I had my gums cut open and what a time I had,
1:07.3	lovely times. Even better than this dream job, having my gums cut open, how are you gums, Hannah? Are they all right? They're mostly all right because they did it with lasers. They didn't need to stitch it up. Get what you pay for, I suppose. Yeah, quite. 600 quids. I hope they gave you like, I suppose they didn't give you any sweeties while you're waiting, did they? Because that's sort of... gave me an awful arm of local anaesthetic. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, they gave me so much local, because I had one on each side. And it was so much that I was a bit like freaking out. I was like I can't, like, I almost feel like I can't, like, breathe. There's such little sensation in my face.
1:45.0	It's really unpleasant.
1:46.6	Yeah.
1:47.2	And they say to you don't smoke or vape,
1:49.6	as if you could actually get your lips together and get anything at that point
1:53.5	because you literally cannot feel your entire face.
1:57.6	Anyway, speaking of work and jobs, Jen,
2:00.0	can I see your ID before we continue, please?
2:04.7	Sorry, just a random changing policy that I'd not previously flagged, despite the Bush
2:10.3	Telegraph having run perfectly fine without it for a very, very long time. How very
2:14.9	Kear-starma of me.
2:20.3	I'm waiting, Jen. No, you cannot.
2:22.4	Is that the appropriate response?
	...

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