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Standard Issue Podcast

The Bush Telegraph: Be prepared (with teabags and tofu)

Standard Issue Podcast

Standard Issue

Society & Culture

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2025

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Which Standard Issue presenter would survive an apocalypse? Just one of the many important questions Hannah and Mickey are asking in this week's Bush Telegraph. See also: Is America deporting legals? What next for Gaza? Why do the courts treat women so poorly? And what does any of this have to do with a Romanian model? So good job we no longer have to ask "what about China?". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:02.2

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0:07.5

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0:27.7

forward slash express.

0:30.1

Bush Telegraph. Welcome to the Bush Telegraph. I'm Mickey Noon, your go-to for emergency walnuts and tofu. And I am joined by the

0:42.6

standard issue team member most likely to survive any sort of apocalypse, Hannah DeLevy.

0:48.4

Hannah, hello. Tell me charm your way into my bunker, Mickey.

0:53.2

Oh, we've started with a strong euphemism.

0:56.1

Let's see where this goes.

0:58.4

Because let me just say that bribing me with tofu is not going to fucking work.

1:03.5

I feel like after 11 years of hanging out on a fairly regular basis, I am aware of that.

1:09.7

How did you get a hand of Delavy in your house? I just left

1:12.5

a trail of tofu and she was there immediately. No one has ever said. I bought her a Terry's

1:18.9

chocolate orange. Yeah. Yeah. So why am I suggesting you either make friends with Hannah or start

1:25.1

stock in a bunker? Well, I'm not going to tell you which

1:27.7

one of those is actually an easier proposition. Um, cyber attacks, in it? Following a hacker

1:33.9

attack that also saw customer data stolen last week, the co-op shelves, baby bear. Eminus just about

1:41.4

squeaked through, although there was tragically a shortage of

...

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