Before we go any further, I realise that many of you must have been listening to this podcast thinking,

I really like this. I really like the sound of the New European, but I'm not quite sure I want to

spend loads of money to find out if I do like it. So I have got a proposal for you, a whole month

of the New European for one pound. If you like it, you can carry on paying five pounds a month.

That's a little more than a pound a week. But if you've been sitting there thinking I'd like to get

the New European, but I'm not sure I really want to spend the money, now's the time to go for it.

Just one pound and it's yours for a month. Go to the new European.com.ukuk

forward slash two mats. This offer is the best you'll get anywhere and it's exclusive to two

mats podcast listeners. And you can cancel any time you like. So it's an unrepeatable offer to

dip your toe into a whole new world of

journalism. Hello Snowflakes. Welcome back to the New European podcast with me, Steve Anglesey. I'm the

editor of the New European. As a punishment for us not letting him be Prime Minister again,

Boris Johnson is writing his autobiography. But what will it be called? Will he hark back to celebrated

autobiographies of the past and call it something like the long walk to the wine fridge or the year

of tragical thinking or this is going to hurt for you. Will he emulate the celebrated biography

of right now and call it spare tyre or spare us? Or will he go the whole hog? And to be fair,

the whole hog is in itself a decent name for a book by Boris Johnson and call it it the Laying King, or the grifter,

or crime, but not too much punishments. To speculate about what might be in Boris Johnson's

autobiography, will there be any truth in it? I don't know. And to ask, just why the hell is

Rishisholanax's only big idea to make us do even more maths.

I'm joined by comedian and New European columnist Mitch Bed.

And we'll be putting more putrid politicians and pundits into our Hall of Shame

...