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And here he goes, original.

Calling all Alarmy members, for our upcoming holiday episode,

we want to hear about your biggest holiday disasters,

comedy of errors, or family feuds.

Call the Erials hotline at 626, 604, 6262,

and leave us a 1 minute voicemail with your biggest holiday drama.

The team here at the alarmist will then unpack your disaster

and figure out who we think is to blame.

No person or concept is safe from being sent to the alarmist jail.

It's your chance to settle your family feuds once and for all.

Dow the Erials hotline at 626, 604, 6262,

and remember to keep your voicemail snappy at 1 minute.

Phone lines close on November 20th at 11.59 pm Pacific Standard Time.

I was born with a special gift.

The ability to mentally transform any situation into the worst case scenario.

In my own brain.

My therapist calls my gift catastrophizing.

...