The Benefits of Mixed Emotions

Hidden Brain

Hidden Brain Media

Arts, Science, Performing Arts, Social Sciences

4.6 • 40.4K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2022

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We've all been in situations where we experience mixed emotions. Maybe you've felt both joy and sadness during a big life decision, such as whether to purchase a home or accept a job offer. Or maybe you've experienced mixed feelings about the ways the COVID-19 pandemic has shaped your life. Psychologist Naomi Rothman says that while these feelings of ambivalence are uncomfortable, they can also serve us in important ways.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. In high school Naomi Rothman was a shy teenager.
0:07.1	That is until she laced up her cleats and stepped on the field for her travel sopitude.
0:15.5	Surrounded by teammates she loved Naomi became a completely different person.
0:20.8	We were called the Red Hot Chili Peppers and it was very meaningful to me because I
0:25.5	created these really strong friendships and it gave me a lot of confidence. It gave me a sense
0:29.8	of self-worth and self-esteem and I really strongly identified with this team.
0:37.6	There was just one catch. The players on this team predominantly came from the East Side of town
0:44.7	and played at Harbor High. Naomi School Santa Cruz High was on the west side of our hometown
0:52.0	of Santa Cruz, California. And so during our high school season we had to play against each other
1:00.1	and someone always had to lose. Harbor and Santa Cruz were always among the top contenders.
1:08.8	The rivalry between the schools was intense. Every game we played against one another was
1:15.4	high stakes and these games were some of the most emotionally fraught games that I ever played. And
1:21.4	the reason was that I loved these players. I had this deep genuine affection for the people that I
1:26.4	was trying to beat. The same player she had fought alongside as a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
1:36.4	were now trying to crush her when Harbor High faced Santa Cruz. Her friends had become her frenemies.
1:48.3	Naomi Rothman never forgot what that early experience felt like. Today she's a psychologist who
1:53.7	studies what happens to our minds when we feel like we are being emotionally pulled in opposite
1:59.7	directions. It's absolutely an uncomfortable state. In fact that will then set the stage for how
2:08.9	you engage with your environment which is essentially to try to get rid of that feeling of discomfort.
2:14.5	The pain, paralysis and promise of mixed emotions this week on Hidden Brain.
2:33.3	Sometimes we feel just one single feeling with overwhelming force. We are joyously happy.
2:38.5	We are crushingly sad. But sometimes it's more complicated than that. We feel happy and sad at the
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