Episode 288 of the beerist's podcast recorded August 14th, 2017.

DKML, FML. FML.

So the other night I was in my back patio, you know, just hanging out, smoking cigarettes.

And then I see what I think is a cat in my yard.

I approach the cat going kitty, kitty, because it looks like a little kitten, right? Wait, hold on.

You didn't do Grant's meow wrap? No, I didn't do the meow wrap. That's how you get called over. Yeah, last episode, stick around after all of the credits and listen to Grant's meow rap.

But there's a thing I think is a cat.

So I'm approaching it and this fucking thing charges at me.

And it's a fucking armadillo.

It's a full grown adult armadillo in my backyard.

So I'm like, wow, the fuck.

And I get back up on the deck and I grab my

water hose and I start spraying at it trying to get it out of my yard. And it won't fucking have it.

So I just noticed that one of your fingernails fell off. Did you play with this thing for too long?

I didn't touch it. I didn't do anything. No leprosy.

It escaped underneath my deck.

I think it might live there.

You might have an armadilla on your deck?

That's very Texan, very cool.

I don't think it's cool.

It's a fucking full-grown armadillo in my backyard.

You said it looked like a baby kitten.

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