The Bee Weekly: Kids Write Bee Headlines and The Corrupt U.S. Government
The Babylon Bee
Seth Dillon
4.4 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 18 March 2022
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Kyle, Adam, and Jarret commune to discuss the inevitable destruction of the earth as a result of nuclear war, high gas prices (yes, this is still a thing), Rachel Levine being… a thing, and Obama getting COVID! Hilarious!
A new edition of Babylon Bee Radio is hot off the air waves (is that a thing?). Austin uses his sensual voice to give you the fake news that really matters.
Need more fake news? Check out headlines written by kids and some unsolicited headlines from the deep underdark that perhaps should never have seen the light of day.
We also sit down with Patrick Newman to discuss government cronyism. Did you know the government has been corrupt since the beginning of time? Now you do!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | President Zelinsky asks Congress to do him a solid and start a nuclear war with Russia. |
| 0:05.3 | USA Today names Rachel Levine, their woman of the year, end of joke. |
| 0:10.1 | Barack Obama has COVID. You can read all about it in his all-new 12th memoir. |
| 0:16.4 | And we talk to Patrick Newman about cronism and how the government is totally corrupt. |
| 0:21.1 | The world is impossible to satirize, so we give up writing headlines and forced children |
| 0:25.8 | to write jokes for her and Hamam instead. All this and more on The Bew Winkly! |
| 0:33.9 | Welcome everyone to the Babylon Bee Weekly. As World War III begins, |
| 0:38.5 | we sit around and laugh about it. I like that you got your buckies shirt on this week. |
| 0:42.0 | I got the buckies mug. Yeah. And if anybody from buckies is watching, we would love a sponsorship. |
| 0:47.6 | We'd love a sponsorship and we would love to have the founder of buckies on. |
| 0:50.7 | I'd love to talk to that guy. I'd love to introduce like an interesting man now. |
| 0:53.6 | Like I had this idea. Like did it come to him in a dream? Uh-huh. |
| 0:56.4 | I would like a gas station but with 150 pumps. Yeah. I mean how do you come up with that? |
| 1:01.1 | Do you think God gave him the dimensions? The bathrooms will be this many qubits long. |
| 1:05.2 | It's like Michael and Del like a Michael and Del kind of thing. Yeah. |
| 1:08.1 | Or Noah. I think you were referring to Noah more than that. |
| 1:10.4 | Yeah when we interviewed Michael and Del he was always talking about that. |
| 1:12.5 | Like God came to him in a dream and said, no it wasn't really. |
| 1:14.8 | Like now you need to do sheets. You know, like this product idea is occupative. |
| 1:18.8 | And you have to get them from the Giza region between the Nile and the |
| 1:22.3 | river. That's where that's good. Unmixed fabrics and all the the stuff. |
| 1:26.9 | The cedars of Lebanon. Yeah. Yeah. |
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