4.6 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2025
⏱️ 139 minutes
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0:00.0 | Well, well, well, happy Jewish Litch Day, Yehethans. |
0:06.3 | It's the magical day where Christians celebrate a Jewish rabbi running around with his pet |
0:10.6 | rabbits, shitting out eggs, hiding them, and then sitting on his little Messiah throne, |
0:15.7 | menacingly stroking a fully grown buddy rabbit. |
0:18.8 | He then chastises the Roman government and the Jewish Sanhedron because they are too |
0:23.9 | dumb to find his eggs before time runs out on the one special golden egg with the explosive |
0:29.6 | surprise inside it. |
0:31.7 | Now, every year we remember the sacrifice of this Jewish lich king, Jesus by hiding eggs, |
0:37.3 | blaming bunnies, and eating chocolate, |
0:39.9 | and guilt-tripping people into worshipping their passive-aggressive God king. |
0:44.2 | Nothing convinces people more than guilt-tripping them into it. |
0:47.5 | You mean to tell me that God sacrificed his horror crux to save all of humanity |
0:51.5 | from the sick, sadistic shit he's planning on doing to us all because |
0:55.1 | someone ate a magical fruit salad after he, after he told her ass not to. Sounds more like some |
1:01.7 | weird divine BDSM fetish if you ask me. Oh, the only thing that'll change my mind is if I |
1:09.6 | clone and torture myself to death while watching for |
1:12.6 | the corner cuck chair. That's how Daddy Yahweh likes it. But I'm supposed to feel bad about that? |
1:19.2 | I'm supposed to feel responsible somehow. I didn't put that boot liquor on the cross, and a half-eaten |
1:24.9 | fruit salad didn't damn humanity. God is supposedly |
1:30.3 | all-loving, but what is all-loving about an all-powerful deity that needs excessive torture to change |
1:35.2 | his mind? Not only is that sadistic, but it also doesn't make any pragmatic sense. How does the |
1:40.7 | torture and murder of his son slash himself absolves sin? |
... |
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