The Arc of Love - I Don't Think I Want Kids? But My Partner Might?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2024

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The Arc of Love is my gift to you as your summer beach listen of 2024. A curated collection of stories about trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, attraction and disgust, rupture and repair. As the stories mirror and amplify our own experiences, they help us grapple with the parts of ourselves that hold the same emotions, conflicts, and forbidden truths. Inevitably, one of these episodes will resonate with you, even if it’s not your story. I invite you to listen and tell me which one speaks to you. A man has never thought of himself as a father but the partner he's devoted to is now unsure if she wants kids or not. With additional unknowns in his life, Esther helps guide him through his different questions about what the future holds. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello everyone. I wanted to tell you that I have created a special
0:06.4	compilation for you. I'm imagining it as your summer beach listen. You may have some novels by your side and now you will have some
0:16.4	episodes of where should we begin by your sides. It's called The Ark of Love and I put together a storyline of the many facets of love that I think we are all
0:27.7	engaged with the beginnings the middles the endings, whether to heaven, if so, when, with whom, how
0:36.7	polyamary, consensual monogamy, death, infidelity, divorce.
0:42.3	I mean, I may have left one out, but it's basically the big issues that are part of our relational lives.
0:49.0	And many are new episodes that we have never released, and many are episodes that I did a
0:54.4	little while back but they are just ever so current and relevant today. So
1:00.4	enjoy the arc of love, ride it with me.
1:03.2	And by the way, you don't need to listen to this in order.
1:06.4	It's not really a book with chapters.
1:08.2	You pick the subject that interests you,
1:10.4	or wherever you are at in your life at this moment and you say I need to see how others deal with this.
1:15.9	So it's a al-a-cartes compilation of some of the very special episodes of the Ark of Love. Hey, it's there. The question that I have arises from a potential mismatch in the desire to have kids between my partner and me. I have not wanted kids with
1:44.8	previous partners. I feel like I still don't. My current partner is not sure if
1:50.1	she wants kids, but she doesn't want the option taken away from her.
1:53.6	Both of us want to be together and ultimately see breaking up is a bad outcome.
1:58.0	And so my question is, how do other couples deal with this mismatch?
2:02.3	How can I have the most productive conversations
2:04.2	with my partner?
2:05.4	And how do I deal with emotions
2:06.7	that might arise for mismatch desires or outcomes
	...

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