Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast.

A lot of people go into marriage with a 50-50 mindset.

Everything in the relationship, from tangible things like child care and chores to intangible

things like the effort and energy needed to keep the partnership going is supposed to be divided equally.

The 50-50 approach to relationships is all about fairness.

And that seems sensible and rational.

But my guest says it actually sabotages relational happiness.

Nate Klimp is a former philosophy professor and the co-author along with his his wife, of the 80-80 marriage, a new model for a happier, stronger relationship.

Today on the show, Nate shares how cognitive biases skew our perception of our contributions to relationship, what happens when couples get stuck in the 50-50 mindset of domestic scorekeeping, and how shifting to an 80-80 model radical generosity can create

an upward spiral of connection and appreciation.

And we discuss practical ways to divide household responsibilities, decide how much time to

spend with each spouse's respective parents, and establish values that will guide your partnership

as you navigate life changes and work towards a spirit of shared success.

After the show's over, check out our show notes at aOM.is slash 8080.

All right, Nate Klimp, welcome to the show. So good to be here with you, Brett.

So you co-authored a book called The 80-80 Marriage with Your Wife. And in this book, you both propose a new framework for thinking about marriage. And you start off the book with a story of what kick-started the idea of the 80-80 marriage.

Tell us that story. Yeah, well, I'll give you maybe even a more complete story than what we say in

the book, which is to say that when we first got together, we had this fairy tale-like beginning to our

relationship. So we met in high school. We were both

seniors in high school. We were chemistry lab partners. We went to senior prom together. And then we

pragmatically broke up before we went to college. And seven years later, it magically came back.

We started dating again. We got married. And if you had asked our friends at the

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