And now, from a deep underground military base on the other side of the flat earth,

it's time for the seventh annual fake news awards.

Featuring your host, Ben Krocman, and a special guest appearance by Yaroslav Hunkah and his international

cheerleaders.

How did the disinformation specialists of the Mockingbird media lie to the public this year?

What rich creamery nothing burgers did they use to whip the public into hysteria over matters of no consequence whatsoever?

And what real scandals of earth-shaking importance did they ignore?

And who will walk away with the most coveted dino of them all, the fake news story of the year?

Find out in this face-meltingly, apocalyptic, horrifying extravaganza of media mendacity, known as the Fake News Awards.

Brought to you by our corporate sponsors.

Funlight.

Just forget everything that happened last year.

McDonald's.

Come for the free meals for Zionist occupiers.

Stay for the free rats for Zionist occupiers, stay for the free rats.

And FTX.

Matt Damon made me do it.

And now, stumbling out of the hermetically sealed tin can that we keep him in for the first time in 364 days, here's your host, Ben Crockman.

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, non-binary transforming robots and assorted others.

Welcome back. Bent Crockman here,

and let me tell you, it's my pleasure to be here once again dispensing these dynos of dishonor

to the remorseless regurgitators of rubbish in the lying lamestream media. No, really, I'm thrilled.

...