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The Daily Motivation

The 3-Step Method To Make Anyone Feel Truly Heard | Charles Duhigg

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Self-improvement, Education

4.8963 Ratings

🗓️ 26 June 2026

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On The Daily Motivation Show, host Lewis Howes and author Charles Duhigg break down looping for understanding, the three-step communication method taught at Harvard's negotiation program. Learn why feeling heard is wired into human survival and how one small habit can change your most important relationships.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11.9

The better you can learn to communicate and someone feels understood with your communication.

0:18.9

Yeah.

0:19.4

The stronger the connection and the stronger ability

0:23.9

to create together or to make things happen together as well.

0:27.6

Oh, absolutely.

0:28.1

And the more surface level of the communication, I'm assuming, or the less alignment that

0:33.2

you have with one another, the more unlikely you will create something unique or special or powerful

0:40.7

to get. That's exactly. And so let's talk about what super communicators do. Like when you're talking to

0:44.8

man, let me ask you a couple questions about Matt. And is he like a friend who lives here?

0:48.4

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. COL, the company, best friend. Okay. So, um, play college football

0:53.1

together. Yeah. So when you talk to Matt, does he laugh a lot?

0:57.6

Do you guys laugh together? Laugh a lot. We play a lot. I'm playing more with him. You know, I'm more joking, but yeah. But he laughs with me, yeah. But is he the funniest guy? Like, if you were like, who's going to be a stand-up comedian? and he's not the, he's not the funniest guy.

1:09.1

Right.

1:09.4

He's the middle child.

1:10.9

So he's kind of like always learning to navigate both sides, you know?

1:14.5

Okay, so here's another question. I'm certain if you ask him advice, he gives you good advice. But if you were like, is he your most genius friend? Is he the guy who like, he knows a lot about it. He knows a lot about everything, like a little about a lot.

1:27.9

Right.

1:28.4

Right.

1:28.7

But he's probably not the smartest person I know, but he's the most rational person I know.

1:33.2

Which is that is key.

1:34.7

And my guess is, and tell me if I'm getting this wrong, I'll bet you if I watched you guys talking.

...

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