The #1 Relationship Researchers in the World: 50 Years of Marriage & Love Advice in One Conversation

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Education

4.6 • 15.4K Ratings

🗓️ 18 June 2026

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s episode is one of the most eye-opening conversations about marriage, love, and relationships you will ever hear. Whether you're married, dating, single, divorced, or in a long term relationship, get ready for the gift of the Gottmans. Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman are the world’s leading relationship researchers. For over 50 years, they have studied thousands of couples, published hundreds of research papers, written 52 books, and changed the way the world understands love. And what they are sharing today is simple but life-changing: It’s not whether you have conflict that determines if your relationship lasts. It’s how you handle it. Today you are going to learn: -How the first 3 minutes of a fight can predict divorce -The 4 most common behaviors in every relationship that drive people apart -3 simple questions for your next date night that create real connection -The #1 predictor that a marriage will last (it’s not chemistry or sex) -One 10-minute Sunday habit that makes you both feel like you’re on the same team -“Turning away” vs. “turning against” - the tiny moments that make your partner feel loved… or alone If you’re feeling like you and your partner have become roommates who barely see each other, you’re not alone. Nobody taught you how to do this. And even if you had great role models, marriage comes with challenges no one can fully prepare you for. So let this episode be your wake-up call – and the way back to each other. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out another great episode about relationships, with divorce attorney James Sexton: The Most Eye-Opening Conversation on Marriage & Love You will Ever Hear Connect with Mel: Order Mel’s product, Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:08.7	So this year, my husband, and I are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary.
0:13.0	I know.
0:13.6	That's a long time.
0:15.2	And people often ask me, Mel, what is the secret to a lasting relationship?
0:19.3	And I'll tell you, I joke.
0:20.3	I say, Merry Christopher Robbins.
0:22.1	Because the dude is so calm.
0:24.9	Me, on the other hand, I am the eruptor, the volcano, the hurricane.
0:29.8	And here's the truth.
0:31.3	Like every relationship, we have conflict.
0:35.0	We fight.
0:35.8	We have frustrations.
0:37.2	We irritate each other.
0:38.5	We've had our ups.
0:39.4	We've had our downs.
0:40.6	But let me tell you something.
0:42.5	Because of what I just learned in the episode that you're about to listen to with two of the greatest relationship researchers of all time, I am so excited to go home to Chris tonight and to practice
0:57.5	everything that I just learned. And by the way, apologize for a lot of what I saw in myself
1:03.2	that was not so great for Chris over the years. And you're going to leave this episode feeling
1:08.0	so excited about love, excited about what's possible. I cannot wait for you to
1:14.6	experience the magic of Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, who have spent over 50 years researching the
	...

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