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Ladies & Tangents

That's one ugly clam - Bot Stories

Ladies & Tangents

Ladies & Tangents | Para Pods

Society & Culture

4.93.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 May 2022

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You know that feeling at end of a long shift or a long drive where everything starts to blur together and anything can be funny? That's the kind of episode we needed this week. We took a dive into the interwebs to find stories and scripts written by "bots." We're pretty sure that in our absolute trash journalistic style that we came across the human author of these bot scripts, Keaton Patti. Put some respect on his name because this idea is comedic genius.  Bot Link- https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-forced-bot-to-watch-1000-keaton-patti/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic  WE'RE ON PATREON - patreon.com/ladiesandtangents  MERCH- ladiesandtangents.com/lt-merch  FOLLOW ALONG WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA @ladiesandtangents WE'RE GOING ON TOUR - https://www.ladiesandtangents.com/live-show WE’RE ON CAMEO - https://www.cameo.com/ladiesandtangents WE'RE ON PATREON - patreon.com/ladiesandtangents MERCH - https://ladiesandtangents.kingsroadmerch.com/ *NEW* SUBMIT YOUR STORIES - landtstories@gmail.com FOLLOW ALONG WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA - @ladiesandtangents   GAZA/WEST BANK RESOURCES- https://medium.com/@scholarscoalition/for-immediate-release-u-s-4c2aecd11535 https://irusa.org/middle-east/palestine/ https://buildpalestine.com/2021/05/15/trusted-organizations-to-donate-to-palestine/ https://www.vox.com/2015/5/14/18093732/israel-palestine-misconceptions https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52045757   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey guys, I'm Jerry. I'm Sierra. We're ladies. And we tangent. What's up everyone? Hello! How are we doing? Are we still stressing out? No, it's Tuesday. Oh yeah, so Tuesday feels good.

0:29.0

Tuesday is better. You guys the moment how show is so much fun. Thank you. We're speaking into existence because it's Friday right now. And right now it's Friday night. If you can't tell by um...

0:41.0

We're getting ready for it by the by our appearance. Honestly, I am fucking wiped. I'm so tired. It's been exhausting. Um, this is so fun. So so fun. Like truly. That's like the, you know when you go to like Cedar Point or any amusement park near you.

0:58.0

And you're like, I had a fucking blast. I could sleep for five days. Yes, yes. That's how it feels doing this stuff. Like when you get back from a vacation and you're like, I had an amazing time but wow, I'm so exhausted. Uh huh. I'm serving you sticker face. I was gonna say do you remember those stickers that we used to get just like in I think I used to get them when my mom was a secretary. So she used to just fucking fuck with those stickers. But the star stickers and they'd be like blue red green.

1:27.0

I can sober just star packs and you can pull them off and put stickers. I would put those stickers everywhere. Why did my mom have so many of those stickers mom?

1:37.0

Was it for like filing? Probably she had so many star stickers. And I was like, I don't get cool stickers but I do fuck with these star stickers. I'm gonna put them on everything and I did in your face is giving that.

1:50.0

Well, I just I didn't feel like putting makeup on I just didn't. I have been picking the shit out of my face. And so I was like, let's just put stars on my face. We're just having a girls night.

2:03.0

I like it. I got a closet. Girls, gays and days. Night. Yeah, we're doing. Cock. Cock. We're doing cock clips in my hair. Oh my god. It's start. Oh my god. I think.

2:18.0

Cock clips. Cock for your hair. You just said cock clips again. That's what I mean. So when we do ladies and pleasure. It's just. It's a cock clip. But the claw part is a dick on either side. Do you think? Yeah. It's just the labia. Oh, that's cool. But then it would be lip. Clop lip. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop.

2:44.0

I hate that. Cock clips. No. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Clop. Well, where do you think else they'd put it? What? Just put it around. You're we. Yeah.

3:03.0

I like to talk about my hair as well. Because I am serving Cinderella's mean sister in a live auction. Yeah. Disney movie. It's funny. I almost did my hair half up, half down. And then I just could not be bothered to even curl the bottom. Well, honestly, you probably look like the other stepsister.

3:26.0

Yeah. Me and stepsister realness right now. That's cool. I can fuck with that. Do you know the people when I was growing up often said that they would beat me like a red headed stepchild. Yeah. I heard that a couple times. I thought about that yesterday. That's like terrible fucking.

3:42.0

Me thinks that caused some trauma. Yeah. And also where the fuck did that? Why is that even a saying that people say I don't know. There were so many things that I'm like realizing now we're said to me as a kid.

3:55.0

I'm like, why was that funny? Why did you say that to me and then laugh in my face and then make me feel weird about being offended? Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what any of this is about. I just wanted to share. No, we're still we're still being mad from last week. Speaking of share. I've been watching a lot of RuPaul's drag race. And I love when people impersonate share.

4:19.0

Do they do that often? Yeah. I got to start watching it. Yes. I watched a little with Jerry the other night after our meet and greets which by the way. We're phenomenal. So so so so so so amazing. We truly have like the coolest people in our community.

4:34.0

I actually had a friend of mine ask about it. And like it's so funny because people who actually know us are like, oh my god, people want to talk like our pace talks to you. They're like, so that's cool. I guess but why?

4:45.0

But a friend of mine was like, do people like mean to you? And I was like, no, they're literally the nicest fucking people I've ever met in my life. Like honestly, if you ask me, I didn't think people this nice would exist ever. But also we did think that people were going to buy them just so they could yell at us. Yeah.

5:06.0

For a long time, that's 100% what I thought I was like, we're going to have at least one person who's like, yeah, I paid this money to say fuck you. Right to your face.

5:16.0

That's why I thought what I love. What?

5:20.0

No, that's who's that? Who's that? Who's that? What is Cher say? I'm an Oscar winner, bitch. I gotta watch more RuPaul's drag race. Wait. Oh my god. Why can't I speak? What I was going to say is that we don't need to speak. We only have a podcast where all we do is talking.

5:49.0

It's not that I love that for me. I was going to say that there are certain people who we had meet in Greece with that like we kind of jump scared. They didn't even know it was starting in all of a sudden we're talking. And it felt like we were just face timing a friend like every single time. Yeah.

6:05.0

We were we went on a house tour. Oh yeah. So it was literally in the middle of a house showing it was like to their realtor was like, can I can I have a fucking minute?

...

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