I had an idea to do like a gene shallot style review of Thanksgiving for Eli Roth slash a movie. uh, slasher movie. Okay.

It's not great, but it's okay.

And it's this is, you loved it.

No, I'm reviewing my review that I haven't yet read.

I'm just saying don't, don't have too high of expectations for it, but, you know, I put as much work into it as I was gonna, so this is what you get.

Okay. When horror fans reflect on what they're thankful for

this Thanksgiving, Eli Roth's name will be on many greasy lips. in his throwback slasher, a maniac in a pilgrim costume named John Carver, pun intended,

hunts Plymouth, Massachusetts townies the year after a Black Friday stampede of customers

at a big box store.

Survivors of that riot start getting picked off one by one

in an ingenious series of scenarios on a trampoline with cornholders on a table saw that enthusiasts will gobble up.

Don't be a turkey watch a woman get caught.

Don't be a turkey. Don't be a turkey.

Watch a woman get...

Don't be a turkey.

Watch a woman get cooked like one.

I give it an A for advertising.

Compliments to the chef.

Yeah.

He ha ha. That was really good.

Thank you. It was okay. The founders a little bit in the middle, whatever.

Like I said, I spent as much time as I was going to spend on it and that's what you get.

...