Thanks A Lot, Milton Jones!
Comedy of the Week
BBC
4 • 2.8K Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2024
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Star of Mock The Week, Milton Jones ends up in prison for committing a True Crime podcast and asks the question “Sound effects and soundproofing - which came first, the chicken or the eggbox?”
Complete with his unmissable jokes and a fully-working cast.
“The best one-line merchant in British comedy...” - Chortle "King of the surreal one-liners" - The Times “Milton Jones is one of Britain’s best gagsmiths with a flair for creating daft yet perfect one-liners” – The Guardian
Written by Milton Jones, James Cary and Dan Evans
Starring Milton Jones, Tom Goodman-Hill, Josie Lawrence, Dan Tetsell and James Akka
With music by Guy Jackson
Produced and directed by David Tyler
A Pozzitive production for BBC Radio 4
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Just before this BBC podcast gets underway, here's something you may not know. |
| 0:04.6 | My name's Linda Davies and I Commission Podcasts for BBC Sounds. |
| 0:08.4 | As you'd expect, at the BBC we make podcasts of the very highest quality featuring the most knowledgeable |
| 0:14.3 | experts and genuinely engaging voices. What you may not know is that the BBC |
| 0:20.4 | makes podcasts about all kinds of things like pop stars, |
| 0:24.6 | poltergeist, cricket, and conspiracy theories and that's just a few examples. |
| 0:29.7 | If you'd like to discover something a little bit unexpected, find your next podcast over at BBC Sounds. |
| 0:37.0 | BBC Sounds, Music Radio Podcasts. |
| 0:41.0 | When Life's Road Looks Beyond Repair podcasts. for your mild demand. So make the whole world chows. |
| 0:55.0 | Hey! |
| 0:57.0 | Hello, I'm Milton Jones. |
| 0:59.0 | There are many things wrong with the world today. |
| 1:01.0 | If I understand history correctly, years ago everyone in this |
| 1:05.2 | country whose name was Colin was rounded up and transported to places like |
| 1:10.4 | Canada, India, Australia in an attempt to colonize the world. |
| 1:18.0 | Of course the reason vegans always look miserable in photographs is that they resent having to say the word cheese. |
| 1:30.0 | But it's not easy to kill, not even a mouse. |
| 1:33.0 | In fact, I'm still banned from Euro-Disney. |
| 1:36.0 | My quest is to solve these problems and help as many people as possible in the next half hour. |
| 1:46.3 | I live with my trusty friend Anton and our landlady Pauline who looks after us. |
| 1:50.3 | Right, Milton, microphone, headphones. We have everything we need to record a podcast. |
| 1:58.0 | Great. And thank you for setting up this small room I was |
... |
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