Terri Cole on High Functioning Codependency, Burnout & Boundaries

Earn Your Happy

Lori Harder

Entrepreneurship, Business

4.8 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2026

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you the person everyone relies on, but no one really checks in on? In this episode, psychotherapist Terri Cole is back to break down the often-overlooked pattern of overgiving and over-functioning that can lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection in your relationships. She shares how this shows up especially for high-achieving women who “have it all together” and why it’s so hard to recognize in yourself. We talk about how to spot the signs, the difference between caring and controlling, and the small but powerful shifts you can start making today. Get ready to stop fixing everyone else and start prioritizing yourself. Check out our Sponsors: Granola - Granola is an AI-powered notepad built for the way real people actually meet. Get three months free at http://granola.ai/earn. Shopify - Try the ecommerce platform I trust for Glōci, Sign up for your $1/month trial period at http://Shopify.com/happy Indeed - Spend less time searching, and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Indeed is giving Earn Your Happy listeners a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to help get your job the premium status it deserves. Just go to http://Indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Earn Your Happy. Rella - Rella is a project management platform built specifically for social media managers and teams. Go to http://getrella.com and use code EARN for 10% off your first three months or annual plan. HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 What does high-functioning codependency (HFC) look like? 06:00 Signs you might be over-functioning in your relationships. 11:30 How auto-advice giving can create resentment. 17:30 What’s the difference between compromise and self-abandonment in partnerships? 25:00 How to stop trying to control others and protect your peace. 31:45 The red flags of taking on too much emotional responsibility. 39:00 How to deal with guilt when you feel like you “should” do more. 45:00 How changing your behavior improves your relationships. 49:00 The FREE toolkit to help you start setting boundaries today! RESOURCES Learn more about Terri’s Free HFC Toolkit HERE Get your copy of Terri’s “Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency” HERE Apply for the Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind HERE! Get on the waitlist for Mentor Collective Mastermind HERE! Try glōci for 40% off your first order with code HAPPY at checkout - head to getgloci.com FOLLOW Follow me: @loriharder Follow glōci: @getgloci Follow Terri: @terricole

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is sponsored by Granola. Granola is an AI powered notebook built for the way real people
0:06.9	actually meet. You can try it totally free for three months. Just head to granola.aI forward slash earn.
0:13.0	Shopify. Try the e-commerce platform I trust for Glosi. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period
0:18.0	at Shopify.com forward slash happy. Indeed, need to hire. This is a job
0:22.8	for Indeed sponsored jobs. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now and support our show by saying
0:28.7	you heard about Indeed on Earn Your Happy. Rella, go to getrella.com and start your 14-day free trial.
0:35.8	Use code earn for 10% off.
0:37.8	Your first three months and see why social media teams are ditching the tool chaos.
0:42.7	There's a different flavor of codependency for modern women.
0:45.8	And I knew it so well because it was my own flavor.
0:49.0	It was what I had experienced in my life, which is you being overly invested in the feeling states, the outcomes,
0:57.4	the circumstances, the finances, the situations, the careers of the people in your life,
1:03.5	to the detriment of your own internal peace. So what does that mean? It means as women, as empaths, as lovers, as friends, as daughters,
1:14.9	as aunties, as all the things, of course we're invested in our people being happy. We love them.
1:20.0	We want them to get what they want in lives, you know? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking
1:23.4	about when you're an HFC, as we call it. It's more than that. We go from, I want you to get
1:29.9	what you want, Lori, to I feel responsible for you getting what you want, Lori. I feel responsible
1:36.3	for how you feel. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Earn Your Happy podcast. Today's episode is another throwback,
1:49.2	one of my favorite conversations. And you guys know that I've had this podcast for eight years.
1:55.7	So if you're newer to the podcast, I have literally recorded over 1,400 episodes, you guys. So I want to make sure that you
2:04.8	don't miss any of these super amazing, juicy conversations that I have chosen just for you
2:10.6	because I can't tell you about the wealth of knowledge that is in this freaking catalog of
	...

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