Hi Anna I know you're looking for topics that we wish we talked about more and there's something really important to me and that is blue balls. I don't think women talk about blue balls enough.

A listener named Lauren sent me this voice memo.

I am 34 and guess who told me about blue balls?

Boys that were trying to hook up with me when I was young.

And I literally believed it was unsafe and put me in a lot of really fucked up situations.

Not having an orgasm after an erection can be uncomfortable for a guy, but whose responsibility

is it to deal with that? That's not something that was talked about.

It's like, oh, I started to hook up with him,

so now I have to have sex with them.

You know, I wish a woman had told me about blue balls.

I can't wait to have a daughter.

One of the first things I'm going to tell her is if a guy tells you his blue balls get out of there like kick him in his blue balls

Lauren's voice memo got me thinking. Most of us learned at least one thing about sex

that was harmful, ridiculous, or just plain wrong. Like just recently the actor Nick

Offerman told me that he learned it wasn't manly to ask questions in the moment.

There's this weird old-fashioned sensibility that you're supposed to inherently know how to be good at love making and I certainly wasn't

born with that knowledge but there's absolutely no shame and saying like

hey let's let's do some of these things to each other's bodies and

tell me, do you like this?

Do you want me to do this?

Or what do you want me to do?

What did you learn about sex that you wish you hadn't. We want you to tell us. Send us your

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