Teen Stays Faithful after CES Letter and Mormon Stories Podcast - Gustavo Hernandez | Ep. 2152
Mormon Stories Podcast
Dr. John Dehlin
4.5 • 5.7K Ratings
🗓️ 25 May 2026
⏱️ 212 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Content Warning: Discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation.
In this episode of Mormon Stories, Gustavo Hernandez from Mexico City shares his experience growing up Mormon in Mexico, discovering difficult church history as a teenager, and ultimately choosing to remain an active, believing member of the Church while navigating doubt, anxiety, and faith crises.
Gustavo opens up about the shame culture surrounding worthiness, pornography confessions, and perfectionism in Mormonism –including how teachings from leaders like Spencer W. Kimball deeply affected his mental health as a young teen. He discusses experiencing panic attacks, existential dread, and suicidal thoughts while trying to reconcile faith, church history, and his desire to feel accepted by God.
Along the way, Gustavo encountered the CES Letter, Mormon Stories, exMormon Reddit, temple controversies, Joseph Smith’s polygamy, the priesthood ban, Freemasonry, and multiple First Vision accounts. Despite everything, he chose to stay active in the Church, serve a mission in Guatemala, and eventually became an institute teacher in Mexico.
The interview includes topics like what it’s like being Mormon in Mexico, growing up in a predominantly Catholic culture, p*rnography shame and bishop interviews, faith crisis as a fourteen year old boy, the CES Letter and apologetics, mission burnout, mental health and suicidal ideation, remaining active after losing certainly, as well as current beliefs about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, polygamy, and LGBTQ issues.
Whether you agree with Gustavo’s conclusions or not, his story offers an honest and nuanced look at faith, doubt, mental health, and what it means to stay.
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | What happens when a Mexican Mormon with scrupulosity loses his Mormon faith before his mission, |
| 0:07.0 | as a teenager, discovers Mormon stories in the CES letter, decides he still wants to serve a mission, |
| 0:15.0 | and ends up post-mission, married in the temple, as a nuanced believer, teaching institute, and he comes on Mormon Stories. |
| 0:23.5 | If that's not a teaser, I don't know what else is going to grab you. |
| 0:26.7 | Hello and welcome to another edition of Mormon Stories podcast. |
| 0:30.0 | I'm your host, John DeLinn. |
| 0:31.4 | It is May 23rd, 26, and today we flew all the way from Mexico, Gustavo Hernandez. |
| 0:40.5 | Gustavo, thanks for coming to Mormon stories. |
| 0:43.8 | Thank you for the invitation, John. |
| 0:45.0 | I really appreciate it. |
| 0:46.8 | My pleasure. |
| 0:47.8 | And I'm just, like, in some ways, Gustavo's Mormon story is more Mormon than most of the people that we have on Mormon stories. |
| 0:58.0 | He's only, what, 24 years old? |
| 1:00.1 | Yes, 24. |
| 1:01.1 | And he's lived several, let's say three or four decades worth of intellectual Mormon life, much more than most Mormons, I know for sure. So hold on to your hat slash |
| 1:14.6 | sombrero. It's going to be an amazing Mormon stories episode. And Gustavo arrived this morning |
| 1:21.8 | or this afternoon for Mexico to do this interview and then he's going to fly home tomorrow, |
| 1:26.9 | right? Yeah. Yeah. So I can get back to work on Monday. So thanks for coming all that way. |
| 1:33.8 | No, I really appreciate it. I really appreciate it, John. I, well, I don't want to spoil it. |
| 1:40.7 | No, go ahead. But I've known Mormon stories for almost 10 years. |
| 1:47.2 | So like when you were 14 in Mexico, you're saying you learned about Mormon stories? |
| 1:52.6 | Yes. |
... |
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