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Podcast About List

TEASER Premium #209 - The Five Weeks of Planets: Jupiter

Podcast About List

Podcast About List

Comedy

4.7885 Ratings

🗓️ 11 November 2023

⏱️ 2 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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Transcript

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0:00.0

The Joy of Jupiter, a Planet Report.

0:03.7

Jupiter is by far the largest planet in our solar system.

0:07.9

That is, if you don't count planet Lizzo.

0:12.9

One year on Jupiter is the equivalent of almost 12 years on Earth,

0:16.2

or roughly the time it takes my girlfriend to get ready to go out.

0:21.6

Jupiter is composed almost entirely of gas,

0:24.3

much like the day after I get Taco Bell.

0:28.3

Its core could be either liquid or solid,

0:30.9

much like my shit the day after I get Taco Bell.

0:33.8

Oh, damn.

0:35.7

Holy shit.

0:42.3

Jupiter has a very cold exterior, but gets warmer the deeper you go like a butthole. Okay.

0:44.3

Jupiter is named after the Roman king of the gods because yeah, somehow gods weren't powerful enough.

0:49.3

We need a god that's also a king.

0:54.6

I was waiting for the clap.

0:57.2

There are 95 confirmed moons orbiting Jupiter.

1:01.4

Don't let Buzz Aldrin find that out

1:03.2

or it'll kill himself.

1:16.9

Let's talk about E.O. Europa, Ganymede and Callisto. And no, those aren't the names of Angelina Jolie's children.

1:22.7

Those are the four Galilean moons of Jupiter, more massive than the others.

1:27.3

They were discovered in 1610 by Galileo Galilei,

1:31.0

who takes his name from the famous dinner gibberish scene from Billy Madison.

...

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