TEASER: Hess for the Holidays
The War on Cars
The War on Cars, LLC
4.9 • 937 Ratings
🗓️ 21 December 2023
⏱️ 2 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Since 1964, the Hess Corporation has released a toy truck for the holiday season, an annual tradition that’s highly anticipated by children and collectors alike. Models have included gas tankers, fire trucks, motorcycles, RVs, race cars, and even a Space Shuttle, almost all in the fossil fuel company’s iconic green-and-white color scheme. But this year, perhaps reflecting the times, the Hess Corporation has released a Police Truck and Cruiser, “a specialized law enforcement response team that will inspire and unleash the inner hero in everyone.” We’re not sure what kind of trouble is brewing in Santa’s workshop, but the truck looks like what would arrive in response to a terrorist attack. Meanwhile, the cruiser, the smaller truck-within-the-truck, is an “armored-response vehicle” that gives off big Cybertruck vibes… if the Cybertruck included a battering ram and could actually work off-road.
We discuss the 2023 Hess Truck and what it says about the state of the world. Plus, since we're not the target audience for this toy or its marketing, we hear a kid explain what makes the Hess Truck fun and cool.
**This is a preview of a Patreon-exclusive bonus episode. For complete access to this and all of our bonus content, become a Patreon supporter of The War on Cars.**
2023 Hess Truck ad. (YouTube)
Learn more about the Hess Truck (Hess)
They Hess Truck's Back And It's Worse Than Ever (Steve DaSilva, Jalopnik)
Transcript
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| 0:16.6 | Hey everybody this is a sample of a special bonus episode of the War on Cars. We are an independent podcast and depend on listener support. |
| 0:20.8 | So to access all of our bonus episodes and listen to regular episodes completely ad free, |
| 0:26.0 | visit the War on Cars.org, click support us and sign up on patreon for just three dollars a month. |
| 0:33.0 | As thanks, we will send you stickers and a handwritten note. |
| 0:37.0 | But the video starts with like the Hess truck bursting out a what looks like a police station in you know |
| 0:45.5 | just outside of like Santa Clausville and then it's like the little it's like yeah it's like the little |
| 0:50.9 | town or little village you'd put underneath a Christmas tree with candles out or something. |
| 0:55.8 | Yeah. It's like a it's like a demented Christmas story where you need some high security SWAT team to protect the Christmas village. |
| 1:05.6 | And doesn't the battering ram when, okay, so it comes out, this cyber truck thing comes out. |
| 1:12.1 | Right, what is the problem that there's no crime in this little village. |
| 1:15.0 | Right, so it looks like it looks like Santa's reindeers and sleigh have crashed |
| 1:21.0 | and into a snow bank. |
| 1:22.0 | Yeah, they're stuck in the snow bank. |
| 1:24.2 | A little too much eggnog for Santa maybe. |
| 1:26.5 | Exactly. |
| 1:27.3 | Yeah. |
| 1:28.3 | And so he grabbed the cookies from the back of my freezer |
| 1:31.1 | that the kids are not supposed to take. |
| 1:33.0 | Yeah, anyway. |
| 1:34.0 | When I go off the road in my sleigh, |
| 1:37.6 | I always say, I need a battering ram |
| 1:40.8 | to come along that. |
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