Teaching People How To Treat Us - Setting Boundaries in Early Recovery

The Bubble Hour

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 560 Ratings

🗓️ 7 December 2015

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Setting boundaries is an essential skill in life, especially for people in recovery. Alcoholic and addicts often have dysfunctional boundaries: either too rigid (leading to suppressed emotions or distant relationships) or too enmeshed (depriving us of a sense of personal identity). If we don't learn how to create and maintain healthy boundaries interpersonal relationships may continue to be defined by old roles and patterns, increasing the risk of relapse. As part of recovery, we learn how to set boundaries and to respect other people’s boundaries in return. But, especially in early recovery, this can be daunting. An important aspect of setting healthy boundaries is learning, simply, how to say "no". Another important part of setting boundaries is identifying how we are feeling; something that can take practice when we are newly sober. We can't teach other people how to treat us if we can't identify our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. On this show we will discuss what boundaries are, why they are important, and share tips, tools and advice on ways we identify, build and strengthen them, with an emphasis on how to do this when you are newly sober.

Transcript

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0:00.0	blog talk radio
0:01.5	I own it
0:11.2	not proud that was me
0:14.5	and when I face it
0:16.2	a little dignity
0:19.1	not looking for excuse
0:21.7	I just want to be free
0:24.3	From power
0:25.5	We can't head on me
0:28.1	Free, free, free, free, free, free.
0:31.5	Free, free.
0:46.0	Hello Hello and welcome to the bubble hour where real people share real stories of addiction and recovery.
0:50.2	I'm Ellie and tonight we are going to be talking about boundaries.
1:00.6	Setting boundaries is an essential skill in life, especially for people in recovery, but maybe we should start with the basics. What is a boundary?
1:12.7	Wikipedia defines a boundary as the following, the practice of openly communicating and asserting personal values as a way to preserve and protect against having them compromised or violated.
1:16.8	Now, alcoholics and addicts often have dysfunctional boundaries.
1:21.9	Either they can be too rigid, which leads to suppressed emotions or distant relationships,
1:27.2	or they can be too enmeshed, which deprives us of a sense of personal identity.
1:32.1	In the first part of tonight's show, we're going to talk about the root of where and how boundary issues begin and how they develop.
1:34.8	And we just wanted to make a note that for the purposes of tonight's show, we're going to
1:38.4	be addressing primarily familial boundaries, but of course, boundaries apply across all intimate relationships.
1:46.5	Now, if we don't learn how to create and maintain healthy boundaries, interpersonal
	...

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