Teachers have read it, what's the funniest reason you've had to send someone to the principal's office?

Not entirely the principal's office because they were kindergartners, but two boys turned off the

lights in the bathroom, had their pants around their ankles, chasing each other around in the

dark and peeing on each other. That was a weird one to explain to the parents. I work at a daycare and we couldn't

figure out why the bathroom smelled like pee so bad even though it gets clean twice a day. After a few

days, one of the teachers was tying a boy's shoes when she looked into the bathroom and saw

another boy peeing directly into the floor drain. Apparently half the class was peeing down the drain

instead of into the toilet. Unfortunately enough for young kids, peeing is funny, and they tend to go

places with that. A kid dropped a folder full of Xeroxed copies of his hairy butt. Turns out he'd

been taping them to people's lockers all over school. Maybe someone told him he had a

nice butt and he felt obliged to share it with the rest of the world. My dad worked as a teacher in a school

for misguided youth. On the first day, he wrote his name on the board as new teachers do. And when he

turned his back towards the class, a kid had lit his desk on fire with hairspray and was

just laughing. Three foot high flame no more than a foot away from him. I had a sixth grader who was,

just to paint the picture, a human incarnation of Ralph Wiggum, who wanted to get out of class so

desperately that first he raised his hand and said his ears were ringing and he needed to go to

the nurse. Sorry, kid, not falling for it. 20 seconds later, he raised his hand and said his tongue was

burning and needed to go to the nurse. Not falling for it, Ralph. 10 seconds later, he had blurry vision.

He was squishing his eyes with his hands. No dice, kid. And then, in the grand finale, he stands with a flourish and yells so loud that teachers all down the hall stuck their heads out into the hallway.

My dong is bleeding!

We all stood mouths agape until the one wise guy in the class adds,

And you want the nurse to look at it?

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