In this malicious compliance story, I had fresh stitches under my hat and my teacher has a no hats

in class policy. Sure thing, teacher. The car accident was of the side impact variety and it

was brutal. This was in the days before airbags and seatbelt laws. One second, I'm driving and

the next I'm halfway out to passenger window watching blood run off my head to pull in the glass

of a previously closed window. Another second ticks and I'm in the ER receiving 13 crude stitches

for 11 inches of wide open scalp. I lost more than two pints of blood and a large patch of hair.

I also lost my favorite white fishnet t-shirt but that is a separate tragedy. That Friday of

Labor Day weekend was how my name shows up in the newspaper list of Labor Day weekend

accidents. Tuesday comes and I go to class at the local college. Being a teenager gave me the

gift of immortality. There I was, fully ambulatory just four days after a serious car accident.

For the sake of propriety, I'm wearing a hat to cover the fresh injury. It was a white

Panama hat with a bright 80 style hat band. This was in 1983. Everything was 80 style but that's

a separate tragedy. Hobbling long, I made it to sociology just as class was beginning. I take a

seat at the back of class and settle in. The conversation went something like this. Excuse me. Could

you remove your hat place? The teacher had her own sense of propriety. My hat didn't fit with

proper classroom attire. I was in a car accident I replied. Did she hear my words or was one of her

rude students muttering another in a career long list of excuses? Likely, the latter was a case

take off the hat now. You cannot wear that in my class. She indicated that she was not happy at all

with my hats. Not at all. Well, okay then, off comes my hat. Roughly a third of my hair had been

shaved off. The wound was pink and puckered. The seam had a line of dried blood in it. The wound

began an inch beyond my missing hairline and continued back, branching into a Y shape. The surgeon's

instructions were to keep the wound clean, dry and unbandaged. Lucky for all in attendance,

...