You're listening to Comedy Central.

As you know, the H1N1, or swine flu season, is upon us.

How serious is the disease?

Well, it's especially dangerous to children and pregnant women,

and contracting it has been known to turn healthy young men into old Jewish ladies.

Our chief medical correspondent got the virus during our recent trip to Afghanistan.

Sanjay said it was the sickest he's ever been.

You were quite sick as well.

The cough was the worst cost I've ever had, and it, like, even hurt my heart while I was coughing.

I could barely take a couple of steps without feeling really lightheaded. And again, those just

profound chills. See, I did not have a fever.

I had explosive diarrhea.

How about you?

You're telling you, my underwear looked like

the mud flaps on a swamp buggy.

Back to you, Anderson.

But of course, the main symptom has always fear.

A strain of flu that nobody has ever seen before.

Health officials around the world are scrambling to contain the outbreak.

There are 20 confirmed cases in five different states.

40 now confirmed.

The pandemic is imminent.

...