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You're listening to Comedy Central. The new year.

It's a time to challenge yourself to be a better person.

In 2006, our correspondence will be sharing their personal challenges

with our viewers in the new series, American Resolutions.

Here to kick off the series for us is our own Rob Cordry. Thank you so much.

Thank you, John. Thank you, John. This year I was one of,

let's say, billions of Americans who made a New Year's resolution to improve some aspect of their

lives. As I found out, sticking to a resolution is a struggle requiring motivation, self-discipline,

and the support of loved ones.

As a young boy, I always dreamed about growing up, marrying a beautiful woman, and convincing

that woman to have a threesome.

My dreams were almost fulfilled.

I met Sandy, and I thought our wedding night

would be the perfect time to have a threesome. I suggested Jesse, Scott, Table 3, American Idol's

Randy Jackson. But Sandy wasn't buying it. And soon my obsession started to affect our marriage.

So this year I decided to do something about my problem and seek professional help.

Right after I hit the free buffet.

Then I spoke with Dr. Steven Lamb.

Can I assume that the third party or guest is a female?

...