You're listening to Comedy Central.

Heading into Memorial Day weekend, if you're anything like me, you're packing up a cooler,

you're loading the kids into the minivan, and you're just driving around aimlessly.

That's what you get when you don't book a hotel room.

But this year, holiday travels are going to be paying more than ever at the pumps,

with gas prices hitting record highs across the country.

As news stories go, perhaps it's not very exciting,

but the news networks have ways to make it pop.

Virtual gas stations, cool computer graphics,

and good morning America went all out.

We're back at our fancy new gas pump pump which we're calling America's gas pump you know what dude you can

call it really whatever you want you know you should call it their crazy magical

rectangle but uh the point is we all know what gas pumps are We want to know why it costs a damn much. Yes, somehow every Memorial Day world events conspire to drive gas prices and oil profits through the roof. How does it happen? For more on this, bizarrely consistent market fluctuation, we go to Rob Riggle live in Columbus, Ohio. Rob, thank for joining us.

Thank you for joining us, Rob.

John, the cost of driving this weekend will be positively gastronomical.

So if you're hitting the road, don't be fuelish. Drive the limit and go easy on the AC.

You'll tank yourself later.

Bob, what are you wearing?

This?

Well, just the usual leathers and feathers.

Standard casual menswear in a futuristic dystopia like this.

The gas crunch has hit Columbus, Ohio, that hard.

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