You're listening to Comedy Central.

We start tonight with the fundamental battle of the ages, not the one between good and evil.

Evil won that immediately.

I'm talking about the fight between marijuana and alcohol. Alcohol has had the upper hand for decades,

but now it appears that marijuana is pulling ahead.

Well, for the first time ever, daily marijuana use is outpacing daily alcohol use.

This is according to a new national study.

Millions of people in the U.S. report using marijuana daily or nearly every day, according

to the national survey on drug use and health.

Those people now outnumber those who say they are daily or near-daily drinkers of alcohol.

That's right.

Daily pot smokers are beating daily alcohol drinkers in the race to see who can escape their sad lives more quickly.

But in some ways, it makes sense.

You know, edibles are just much more efficient than booze.

I mean, have you ever tried to get a trick-or-treater drunk? It's almost impossible. Of course, the rising

popularity of weed is a good reminder to the beer industry that they got lazy. They thought

they could just sit back and relax while Tommy Chong bought every goddamn ad on Twitter, you know?

Congrats, beer companies. You lost to that well-known, super ambitious, type A, hard-working go-getter, Tommy Chong.

Now, weed and alcohol aside, the larger issue is that maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't be depending on all these substances in the first place.

You know, life is much better when you're sober and we can really feel everything authentically.

That's an epiphany I had on my weekly ayahuasca voyage.

Let's take a moment to talk about marijuana,

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