We're talking about skydiving.

So I've never jumped out of a plane.

I almost jumped out of a plane.

I was in Dubai and I thought, fuck, I wouldn't jump out of a plane.

Why not?

So I went in there and I said, oh, it's tandem and we're going to strap you to an instructor

and I said, well, oh, oh, strap on to a dude that sounds too gay.

I'll do it myself.

I want to jump out of a plane by myself.

I'm like, okay, well, there's a one week course you've got to do, blah, blah.

So I started going to these classes and during these classes, I accepted and I now understand

that I'm happy to die having never jumped out of a plane.

Not only is it a bit scary, of course, jumping out of a plane, but on top of it all, it looks

massively, massively.

It just doesn't look pleasurable.

Something about where it looks fun, when you start the training process, they explain

how you jump out and they show you all these videos of people's parachutes going wrong

and how you have to pull your emergency shoot and all these people who die and all this

bullshit.

But even if everything goes well, when she described it to me, my instructor, she, it's

another thing that put me off.

If you want me to jump out of a plane, give me a man to teach me.

...