Right, I'm aching a little bit. I feel a little bit. It's been a long time. I've been away. I've been two months on the road. Two months I've been on the road.

From Bucharest to LA, to Dubai, to Texas, to London, to Belgium, Belgium to Germany, Germany to Czech Republic, Czech Republic to Slovakia, to Slovakia to Romania.

So during all that time, all I was doing was two or three hundred pushups a day to try and stay in shape.

And I got back and I did a proper workout and now I can barely move. That's what happens.

Anyway, today is going to be a very unique take speech because this is going to be the first take speech in history. I use notes. I know that's unlike me. Normally all the brilliant information just flows from my superbrain.

But I don't want to get anything wrong. I'd be very, very specific because the beef I have for this particular take speech is a particular one.

So I've already tweeted about this. If you don't follow me on Twitter, I don't know what you're doing. I get banned all the time, but my current Twitter is here at the bottom of the screen.

And I tweeted something which had people inspired. My beef for this take speech episode and I can't be as animated as normal because it's hard to move is with shower gel.

I have a genuine problem with shower gel and my problem with shower gel is that it's a fucking rip off.

Everyone always uses shower gel. What the fuck is this a shower gel? I'm a soap guy. Give me a bar of soap. Oh, you can't use soap on your face. Why? Why can't I use soap on my face? What's going to happen? Am I going to die?

I can use soap on my face and my hair. You can use a bar of soap. So I'm a bar of soap, dude.

But as the world become more pussy, along with everything else, people will become shower gel guys. Everyone's a shower gel dude. Oh, can you get me the cherry blossom shower gel?

Like, what happened to the normal things? I was a coffee guy, a coffee. Coffee, please. Oh, cappuccino latte, matchy latte. Just coffee, coffee, the fuck soap.

Everything's got some fucking fancy. Pisses me off, but shower gel piss me off the most because shower gel is the biggest con in the history of humanity.

Shower gel is the biggest rip off ever. And I've got the statistics because I conducted an experiment. So what I did was I got a bar of soap and I used that bar of soap until it expired.

So the bar of soap was no longer usable. So it was a little slither. I used up to the very, very end and it was no longer usable anymore. And then I got a bottle of shower gel and I used the shower gel to the end.

Have you ever noticed that was shower gel? It never actually lathers up properly. Like, you get some shower gel, you put on your face and then you get it and you squirt some more. And then you go and squirt some more.

Like, they deliberately don't even make it lather up properly. So you keep squirting more of that shit when people still buy it.

So a bar of soap, the bar of soap I used was 19 cents or talking euros here, 19 cents. The shower gel I used was 199.

Now, the soap lasted six times longer than the bottle of shower gel. So the bar of soap lasted six times longer than the shower gel. So bear with me here.

You have a bar of soap for 19 cents. You have a shower gel for 199. But you need six shower gels to equal the amount of cleaning power as one bar of soap.

Six shower gels at 199 is 1194, which means for 1194 you could get 62 bars of soap.

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