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Hello, welcome to emotional bad ass where Moxie meets mindful. I'm your host, Nikki Eisenhower, live coach and psychotherapist. And on today's episode, I'm

discussing tantrumming, healing, and the inner child.

Our psychology is often illogical and doesn't make common sense at first glance. For many people, raise in dysfunctional

homes, our childhood trauma or emotional neglect was happening very early in life. And in toddlerhood, when we come from

dysfunctional families, often we were not allowed to tantrum. If I tantrummed, if I became angry, the message was, I better stop that right now, which is a

message of something is wrong with you, something is wrong with you having emotion, something is wrong with you for feeling, something is wrong with you for

showing your feeling. And the right thing to do is stuff it way down and never ever show upset. We were taught if this was part of our upbringing. We were taught very

directly in this way to store our stress, our pain, our reactions in the body, instead of releasing them from the body. From as far back as I can

remember, my emotions were parented through this message, stop your crying or I'll give you something to cry about. So on top of whatever big emotional response was

happening in that moment for my little mind and my little body, there was an additional stimulus, an additional overwhelm, an additional layer added, the threat of a beating, a violence, the threat of shame was

heaped on top and my little young and innocent mind and body, lips quivering, breath shaking, which tries so, so, so, so, so very hard with that additional fear and stress to stuff all of those emotions down. Fear of expression for any child is an

abhorrent thing to live through. For a highly sensitive empathic child, it is a special form of hell. It is logical and reasonable for us to think, all right, I'm doing inner child work. My job is to mature, to grow up, to stop reacting and to learn to respond. When I have big feelings, I need to manage them. I need to figure them out, I need to control them. I need to make sure I'm owning myself and not lashing out. If I'm doing my work, I also

shouldn't have big giant feelings and reactions. So if I feel tantra me, I'm probably doing something wrong. I need to work to not feel at that level. I need to manage my intensity. I don't accept this intensity. I must transform it. Our psychology is often illogical and doesn't make common sense. This common sense way that we grow into a belief of controlling.

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