TAM+ EP63: The Paradox of Pain: Why Avoiding Emotions Makes Them Stronger
The Addicted Mind Podcast
Duane Osterlind, LMFT
4.8 • 621 Ratings
🗓️ 3 April 2025
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever felt anxiety, grief, or shame bubbling up and immediately reached for your phone, a drink, or a distraction? That instinct to push away painful feelings is completely normal – but what if that very avoidance is keeping you trapped in unhealthy patterns?
In this illuminating episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric dive into the world of emotional avoidance and reveal why our natural tendency to escape discomfort might be sabotaging our mental health and recovery.
When we avoid emotions, we get temporary relief. But those pushed-down feelings don't disappear – they intensify and return stronger than before. This creates a dangerous cycle where we need more and more avoidance behaviors, which can easily develop into addiction.
Our brains learn that emotions are dangerous rather than what they truly are: valuable information to help us navigate life. By facing our emotions instead of running from them, we can access our "Wise Mind" – the balanced place where intellect and emotions work together to make better decisions.
WORKSHEET: Avoiding Emotions Worksheet
The hosts share six practical steps to break free from emotional avoidance patterns:
The good news? With awareness and practice, emotions become less overwhelming over time. You don't have to be controlled by your feelings or constantly run from them. Instead, you can learn to navigate them with courage, make aligned life choices, and experience the richness that comes from emotional wellbeing.
Whether you're in recovery, struggling with compulsive behaviors, or simply want to improve your emotional health, this episode offers transformative insights and practical tools to help you face life's challenges with greater resilience.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Addicted Mind Plus, the podcast where recovery, mental health, and wellness take the front seat. |
| 0:07.3 | I'm Dwayne Austerland, and joining me is my co-host, Eric Osterland, known for his insightful work on the Stuck Brain podcast. |
| 0:14.3 | In each episode, we'll dive into actionable, small steps to help those in recovery journey further along the path to wellness. |
| 0:22.3 | Our conversations are designed to be concise, typically around 15 minutes, though we may |
| 0:27.0 | occasionally delve deeper when the topic demands it. Our goal to provide you with practical |
| 0:32.0 | advice grounded in real experiences and expert insights to empower your recovery journey. |
| 0:38.7 | So whether you're on a break, on a walk, or just taking a moment for yourself, |
| 0:42.3 | join us as we explore the many facets of recovery and mental health, one small step at a time. |
| 0:48.4 | This is The Addicted Mind Plus, where your journey to wellness gets an extra boost. |
| 0:53.2 | So let's get started. |
| 0:54.5 | All right, everyone. Welcome to the Addicted Mind Plus. My name is Dwayne Austerlund, and I'm here |
| 1:01.2 | with my co-host. Eric Osterlin, good to be here. I think we got a great episode today. |
| 1:06.6 | Have you ever felt an emotion bubbling up in you? Maybe like grief, anxiety, shame, and instinctively done everything in your power to push it away. Maybe you scroll endlessly on social media, have one too many drinks, drown yourself in work or have that extra piece of |
| 1:30.0 | cake. We're wired to avoid pain. But what if that very avoidance, that emotional avoidance, |
| 1:38.0 | while it's offering that temporary relief, is actually keeping you stuck in the very patterns |
| 1:43.6 | you're trying to escape. So on today's |
| 1:46.3 | episode of the Addicted Mind, Plus, we're going to dive deep into emotional avoidance, what it is, |
| 1:54.7 | how it impacts addiction in your mental health, and most importantly, how you can break free from it. Dwayne, I'm so excited for this |
| 2:02.8 | episode. But before we dive in, let's talk about the community. Some of us need help. And that's why |
| 2:09.5 | we created the Addicted Mind Plus community. That's where we'll do things like the deep dive. |
| 2:15.2 | We have coaching groups because mental health and addiction recovery, |
| 2:20.9 | we don't do it in isolation. We need community. I want to let everybody know, go to the |
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