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Thank you. Welcome to Tales to Terrify, part of the District of Wonders Network, featuring Starship Sofa, Crime City Central, and Protecting Project Pulp.

Everyone has a story in the District of Wonders.

Come and find yours.

Good evening, children of the night.

Welcome.

Welcome to the Nook, to Tales to Terrify.

Come in.

Sit, munch, drink.

Now.

Now listen.

I have a confession. It's serious, and once made, I expect some of you will not see me in the same light and shadow ever again. Are you ready? Comfortable? Okay. I've never liked the Three Stooges. Okay. Some people love them.

Some friends of mine are able to assess and weigh the eye gouges one film to another. Some can parse any given exchange of bongs, boings, boops,

and, well, to me, to me it's all the same. One curly is much like another, though I've always

been partial to Shemp. Well, that's me, and to me, it's all dull, silly stuff. Once you get through the first carried ladder

that swings round and swacks a stooge in the face, well, one blow to the noggin is much like another.

I did like Martin and Lewis, though. I loved Uncle Mildy, Milton Burrell. Him, making an entrance

dressed like Carmen Miranda.

Superb.

And Francis, the talking mule, nothing wittier.

Laurel and Hardy, an on-again, off-again thing.

I like the Goon Show, and Monty Python was damn near Shakespearean, while that chubby cross-dressing, what's his name, Benny thing, he bored me to tears.

...