Hey, media group. Hey guys, episode 163. It feels like forever since I had you here. It's only been a week, but it feels longer. I think it has been a little bit longer. You've been holding down the fort. I have. So thank you for doing that. I appreciate it. I need a little time. I think I still need some time, but I'm back. We've been talking about routines a lot lately. We just did some ads and that was kind of what I'm focused on right now. Yeah, I think you getting back to the gym. You haven't really been doing gym, sauna, those, you always say that that helps with your mental health. And definitely, definitely. I can definitely tell a difference whenever, whenever you have been in the sauna and you work out, I can tell you feel better. And I know right now you probably still aren't better to be back here. I don't think you're

all there yet. You're still grieving. You've been grieving since you found out the news in April about your mom, which people didn't know. Right. Yeah. I guess we should start from the beginning here and catch people up in case they didn't see the news or know why I wasn't here. Yeah, you want me to talk?

Yeah.

Okay.

It's still new to what it's still

new for all of us. What would you like me to say? Because I know I did my separate thing for

your mom, but where would you like me to go? Well, I think everyone who listens know that my mom passed

away and it's tough for me to sail out. The way she went was exactly how she wanted it to go. And she had all her boys there and Jeff's dad at her bedside. And whenever they thought that it was going to happen, because nobody knew when it was going to happen, we don't have to get it all the details here. You know? I was going to say she held on long because you all had a sleep over. And I told you, I go, your mom's loving this right now because all her boys were back together in the house and grown boys. And y'all were just talking and she could hear you talk. And of me and you were talking about that. And you're like like I think you're right. I go she's just like I'm holding on and Soak in this all in right now because I have my family here Yeah, I hope that's how it goes down, but you never know. I think you know I don't even I came on to kind of get back into a routine and, you know, I'm not here for anyone to take pity on me or things like that. So I'm not using this to try to gain any sort of advantage or anything. I'm just getting back on because, you know, life doesn't stop unfortunately and I'm learning all this and it's really hard to talk about. For sure. But yeah, I just kind of wanted to talk about just the feelings that I'm feeling instead of the details of what happened, you know, and the struggles because if you are out there and you lost a parent, you know how it feels. If you haven't, you don't. You don't. You think you empathize and you think you do and you don't. You think when your dog dies, it's the worst thing in the world and it's not. I'm probably going to say a lot of things that don't make sense because life doesn't make sense to me right now. And it's just, I don't know, I'm feeling so many emotions and they come in waves. And it's only been a short time, but I have been grieving for a really long time, because everything happened so fast. And now that it's over, I got to put one foot in front of the other and just move on. You're doing a good job. I think there's guilt that's involved in that. And there's sadness and there's a million emotions that hit you all at once.

And like I said, you don't, you can't describe it till you go through it yourself. So for people who have lost them out there, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I guess I'm just going to go say whatever I'm feeling because I've said to people in the past, Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear about XYZ passing away in your life, I'm really sorry. I wasn't sorry. I thought I was sorry, but I wasn't sorry because I didn't know what it felt like to actually have that feeling. So it doesn't mean I was being an asshole on purpose. It means I truly didn't know what I was saying when I said,

hey, I'm sorry for your loss because I didn't know.

And I wasn't sorry for it.

And I've actually went back to people that I've said that to and said, you know what, man, I wasn't really sorry for your loss at the time because I didn't know what you're going through. And now I do. And I'm really sorry about that. And they got it, you know, they're like, I understand.

But they're like, there's nothing to be sorry for in my,

you've had some close friends. My family, you've been great holding it down. Everyone at the podcast has been so great. Some people were asking why we weren't there, why we didn't go to Chicago and our boys. It was not, it was what they didn't need to be there. They were already being affected by it the last time we were there. Me and the boys were there what two weeks ago. A week and a half before that. Yeah. We could have had before that. And before I got there this time, the last time. Yeah. And um, I prayed over Jeff's mom, I kissed her on her forehead and I told her I loved her. And when I went in May, before I took that trip with the boys to the beach, I had a two-hour conversation with her and asked her everything. And me and her had such good conversation. And I hugged her and the boys knew they're old enough to know what's going on and they didn't need to go back and be there. Because on the way home, Lawson was crying on the plane the last time when we were coming back. And it's really hard. I mean, Jeff came back home and we had to tell the boys and I was dreading it. I did not want to tell them and

They were asking questions like can we face time with grandma and then when you got home We told them and that was one of the most heartbreaking things and I'm not gonna cry either I've done enough of it I'm gonna not cry because I'm gonna help you get through this podcast episode because I did want by myself where I cried and And, was the worst feeling ever. Just the cry, loss, and let out latent, even still like last night who was really tired. And he's like, I just miss grandma. And the questions, just the innocent questions that they ask. And some I wasn't prepared for others because I didn't think they would have so many questions. And they're just so innocent and so sweet. It helped with the boys, their friends, you know, being around and it helped distract. But they were pretty messed up. We let them wear their crosses. Will you let Ian do a picture?

Get that we can put up here of the boys you took or do you wanna keep that? That's what I'm saying. I'll feel like, again, I don't know, I'm just gonna more talk about my feelings and I don't know how I feel about sharing every detail which I'm not going to, I'm not ready for that yet. And there's just a lot of mixed emotions. like, you know, you said maybe I don't, to be perfectly honest,

I don't, to be perfectly honest, I appreciate the thoughts and prayers and the sympathy. It really touches my heart, and I'm being true. And if you have opinions on how I need to be feeling, I don't wanna hear them right now. And that's one thing. I think everyone kind of grieves in their own way and I'm having, I'm struggling, finding the right way to do it. And that's where my family comes in. My dad's been so strong and wonderful. And my brothers and my cousins and my really, really good friends. They've been really strong for me. And it's my turn now. So I don't know the right way to go through this, but just to go through it. I was really, really drinking myself to death these last couple of weeks, you know, towards the end. And I was drinking way, way, way too much. So I stopped at this weekend and I stopped all my bad habits. And I got to, I got to move on because it's going to do nobody any good to lose somebody else. So I got to take care of myself so I could take care of everybody else. So it's just hard. There's a lot of guilt. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I need to talk to somebody. But whenever you'd want a laugh, you feel guilty. And then when you want to cry, it's like, you gotta get tough. And I'm not saying like tough for, I'm scared to share my emotions because I'm obviously not. And I told my kids that it's okay. It's okay to cry. And my boss Bert, he's been so, I saw my good friends. They've been so good. And so I mean, I wouldn't have got through this without my family. I wouldn't have got through it without you guys. And people say, you know, in the end, family's all that matters. And they're right. You know, the older you get, the more you rely on those old sayings and the more truth comes into them. And it really doesn't matter. Social media doesn't matter. Your status in life doesn't matter. The car you drive doesn't matter. It's the love, the love around you that matters, you know. And I don't know, let's take a break. Back to school season is upon us, and it's important that the family, all of us get onto a routine. Yes, we have to do that. One thing though that has stayed routine through the summer, and then we'll continue through the rest of the year is drinking our AG1. I love AG1. I use it for energy, for gut health. It's really for the gut health because I know a lot of problems can come from your gut. Yeah, it's got the prebiotics, the probiotics, all the vitons you need for your daily life. And it's something that we have done routine like Jordan said. Four ounces of water, one scoop of my AG1 vitamin D3K2. You feel good about it and I bring my water bottle, my AG water bottle on the planes and people stop me and they ask me about it. You're really good about bringing the travel pack. Everyone asks does it really taste good? Original is what we've been drinking for years now but now they entered flavors into. So if you were ever worried about the taste of it, now you could choose your own flavor because they have three new flavors. I'm excited to try the citrus. Yeah, I'm looking forward to the berry. Your daily health drink just got more flavorful. If you use our link drink AG1 dot com slash together mess, you'll get a free welcome kit worth $76 when you subscribe, including five AG1 travel packs, a shaker, canister, and a scooper that's drink AG1 dot com slash together mess to try out those new flavors and get a free welcome kit. All right. If you guys watch this podcast, I think you know me talking about Jordans obsession with sunglasses. I do, I have a million pair and I just can't stop buying sunglasses. I have all different types, all different price ranges. Well, hopefully this solves your sunglasses problem because we got a new product called Zenny and they make prescription and regular sunglasses for everybody. I love going on their site because I like creating and designing my own things and that's exactly what Zenny's website does. You go on there, you pick your frames, I'm an aviator guy, you could pick if you want them tinted, if you need prescriptions, you could upload your prescription, get all the different colors. They even have engraving on some of the sunglasses.

I got mine.

I put big Jeff on the side, but it's fun making your own pair of sunglasses.

And they are affordable.

I got big green squares sunglasses.

I got together myths on the inside of the sunglasses.

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